Santipolo

God knows I’ve lost enough people now and each one has made me feel different. Not only different after the event but also, different to how I expected to feel. I was a child with my first two grandparents, I don’t recall feeling anything. They were there and then they were not there. Back then we never went to funerals, it wasn’t the done thing for children to go to a relatives funeral unless it was unavoidable so, quite literally, they were just ‘gone’ and it didn’t resonate with me. Likewise, even into early adulthood, older relatives, great aunts and uncles were here then gone and my life didn’t change at all, I felt no different. At 23 I lost my mum, that was my first experience of grief yet, shared grief was all but denied me. Had I not been married at the time and not had such great inlaws, it was quite clear my grief was dictated by what others felt was appropriate. My own family held the attitude that any outward sign of grief was an un...

Why Competition? I say competition because, very often this is how it feels. One person says: “I’m feeling so bad today” Next person says: “Tell me about it, you’ve no idea how bad I am feeling” The second person has totally dismissed the feelings and honesty of the first. The second person probably does feel bad but, do they have the right to dismiss the first? What if, no matter what it is which affects person one, person two always tries to trump it? I find this in my own life. I know what I have wrong and, because generally speaking it’s invisible, I don’t like to detail it. It has been my experience that it is dismissed with some of those around me treating me like I am looking for an excuse. Diagnosis Another issue is that I do not really have a diagnosis. I’ve a broad idea of what it is wrong but there is no acceptable label. It is much like when the kids were young and I was trying to get services for the disabled ones. Their...

Probably best not to watch if you don’t much like needles. You can tell by the way the patient grimaces just how painful it is. I am not entirely sure just how stabbing someone in the shoulder can be slightly uncomfortable.