Cheeky sod!

Some people are so homophobic they are prepared to spend good money on ensuring gay people are given a very wide berth.

Yesterday, James dad offered them a house in Briar Hill, he has quite a lot of property going spare. They have said they are quite happy to stay here, would prefer to stay here but even so this place was offered. He was especially keen, I should think, because landlords are going through a rough time right now. With James and Daisy he’d be assured an income because the state would pick up the bill. I is a win win situation for him. He gets reliable tenants and gets his son and grandchild away from those nasty, corrupting homosexuals.

Both Daisy and James said “no” but I wonder, as the offers increase with incentives, how easy it is going to be to say no in the future? How long is it going to be before both James parents combine forces and start offering them alternatives down in Kent? I know James is keen to live there, Briar Hill was never much of an offer. Kent though, that could sway it. What I never want to do is to say, “I told you so” when they move to Kent and find there is no support there at all, only fake support which promises the earth and delivers very little.

___________________________________________________________________

Finally yesterday I got the domains sorted. It meant totally deleting all net record of the Disney site as it had got corrupted but I managed that OK. Took a few hours to upload again though. I am letting two of my domains expire. I have not used or updated the famously gay or Port Aventura sites for way over a year and they are not really that good anyway. A good idea at the time but not worthy of having more money spent on them despite it being quite cheap to renew these days.
___________________________________________________________________

Work yesterday was a little challenging. Partly this was due to the age old problem of the laptop needing some installs done and having to get the IT team to once again do what I could have done myself much quicker. Mainly though, it was due to the amount of contact I kept getting from home. It seemed for the entire morning I was on the phone dealing with stuff that could frankly wait. None of it was really urgent but the folks back home always seem to want me to jump every time they feel the need. I have to learn to say “no” way more often than I am currently doing. It seems it is becoming many hours over the week when I am dealing with problems that the individuals concerned should be sorting themselves. I am giving lifts to people more than capable of walking, indeed, if they considered walking as an option they’d probably not be doing many of the things that are way too easy an option now.
___________________________________________________________________

I am hoping today I can have a bit of a break, in keeping with the previous paragraph … I was woken up at 09:00 this morning so I could take Matt & James back to Matt’s house. Matt was still pissed from last night not getting away from the pub until 05:00. This means that again I agreed when I should have said no. Once again I didn’t get to relax in bed as I had planned. Once again James is out for the day and we have a garden full of crap which needs to go to the tip which has been there over two weeks. The upshot of all the above is, once again, I am starting to feel stressed and am again starting to feel ill. What I need to do is to start telling people outright, if it isn’t an emergency, don’t involve me in decision you can make yourself. If you don’t plan on walking, don’t make any arrangements to go places. If you want to go and you are prepared to walk, that isn’t my fault. Things still need to be done here and you need to work the extra time spent walking off from your time elsewhere and not sacrifice what time you have here to do stuff.

Not that anyone listens, of course.

Cheeky sod!

Some people are so homophobic they are prepared to spend good money on ensuring gay people are given a very wide berth.

Yesterday, James dad offered them a house in Briar Hill, he has quite a lot of property going spare. They have said they are quite happy to stay here, would prefer to stay here but even so this place was offered. He was especially keen, I should think, because landlords are going through a rough time right now. With James and Daisy he’d be assured an income because the state would pick up the bill. I is a win win situation for him. He gets reliable tenants and gets his son and grandchild away from those nasty, corrupting homosexuals.

Both Daisy and James said “no” but I wonder, as the offers increase with incentives, how easy it is going to be to say no in the future? How long is it going to be before both James parents combine forces and start offering them alternatives down in Kent? I know James is keen to live there, Briar Hill was never much of an offer. Kent though, that could sway it. What I never want to do is to say, “I told you so” when they move to Kent and find there is no support there at all, only fake support which promises the earth and delivers very little.

___________________________________________________________________

Finally yesterday I got the domains sorted. It meant totally deleting all net record of the Disney site as it had got corrupted but I managed that OK. Took a few hours to upload again though. I am letting two of my domains expire. I have not used or updated the famously gay or Port Aventura sites for way over a year and they are not really that good anyway. A good idea at the time but not worthy of having more money spent on them despite it being quite cheap to renew these days.
___________________________________________________________________

Work yesterday was a little challenging. Partly this was due to the age old problem of the laptop needing some installs done and having to get the IT team to once again do what I could have done myself much quicker. Mainly though, it was due to the amount of contact I kept getting from home. It seemed for the entire morning I was on the phone dealing with stuff that could frankly wait. None of it was really urgent but the folks back home always seem to want me to jump every time they feel the need. I have to learn to say “no” way more often than I am currently doing. It seems it is becoming many hours over the week when I am dealing with problems that the individuals concerned should be sorting themselves. I am giving lifts to people more than capable of walking, indeed, if they considered walking as an option they’d probably not be doing many of the things that are way too easy an option now.
___________________________________________________________________

I am hoping today I can have a bit of a break, in keeping with the previous paragraph … I was woken up at 09:00 this morning so I could take Matt & James back to Matt’s house. Matt was still pissed from last night not getting away from the pub until 05:00. This means that again I agreed when I should have said no. Once again I didn’t get to relax in bed as I had planned. Once again James is out for the day and we have a garden full of crap which needs to go to the tip which has been there over two weeks. The upshot of all the above is, once again, I am starting to feel stressed and am again starting to feel ill. What I need to do is to start telling people outright, if it isn’t an emergency, don’t involve me in decision you can make yourself. If you don’t plan on walking, don’t make any arrangements to go places. If you want to go and you are prepared to walk, that isn’t my fault. Things still need to be done here and you need to work the extra time spent walking off from your time elsewhere and not sacrifice what time you have here to do stuff.

Not that anyone listens, of course.

Enforced Break

For several days now my domains have all been down. That means, no websites and no email and this also includes, this blog.

Around 5 of the accounts are still dead, not a lot I can do about it until the nameservers (eh what and yawn) propagate fully throughout the web.

I had the day off today which means I didn’t get a break at all and my daily work tally is already over 10 hours!

Tomorrow I also don’t have the day off, things to do and all that. I may actually get to work on Thursday

My right ear seems to have died. It is really difficult to tell, these things always are, but either my ear is dead or my hearing aid has some serious issues and I cannot work out which … update, just jiggled about with hearing aids, bits and bobs and can confirm, it is my ear which is not hearing, the hearing aid is shit but working OK.

Crikey, look at the time again … I have to be up around 8am tomorrow too 🙁

Enforced Break

For several days now my domains have all been down. That means, no websites and no email and this also includes, this blog.

Around 5 of the accounts are still dead, not a lot I can do about it until the nameservers (eh what and yawn) propagate fully throughout the web.

I had the day off today which means I didn’t get a break at all and my daily work tally is already over 10 hours!

Tomorrow I also don’t have the day off, things to do and all that. I may actually get to work on Thursday

My right ear seems to have died. It is really difficult to tell, these things always are, but either my ear is dead or my hearing aid has some serious issues and I cannot work out which … update, just jiggled about with hearing aids, bits and bobs and can confirm, it is my ear which is not hearing, the hearing aid is shit but working OK.

Crikey, look at the time again … I have to be up around 8am tomorrow too 🙁

Comic 'Give me some ' relief (from it)

My word, this has to be one of the most boring excuses for entertainment ever. I know the BBC have been going down hill when it comes to comedy in recent years, hell, radio 4 is almost a byword for failed humour, but this effort, if we can be so generous, is dire, indeed, it make dire seem like a comedy sketch in its own right.

By the way and, as an aside, I am sure I gave strict instructions that today was to be warm and sunny, not impressed, not please at all.

Meanwhile … You see, I can see that the show is meant to be funny, the clue is, I suppose, in the title. However, maybe we should get advertising standards involved as the closest we have so far got to ‘comic’ was the hoodie the EMO boy was wearing in OXFAM, Manchester. People, this is simply not funny. Is it at all possible for this programme to get any worse? I suspect, quite tragically, that it is. All the talent we have in the country and yet we have Jonathan Ross heading the show so soon after his fall from grace for, basically, being Jonathan Ross which, as we know, is also another of those by-word things and, in his case, a by-word for arsehole.

To support them for just a little … Young Carers are getting a good mention. I doubt the general ignorant public will understand what they experience in their young lives. They, the general ignorant, are probably sat at home wondering why these kids are not at school where they should be, why their parents are so fat, why social services have not got it sorted yet. It doesn’t work like that people. Social services save somewhere like, hell, the country saves £87billion every year by ‘using’ unpaid Carers. It is not in their best interest to sort anything out. If they sorted it out the country would grind to a hault. That sort of money is more than the entire NHS budget, imagine that. If every unpaid Carer quit tomorrow the country really would collapse. That is how important unpaid Carers are. For Caring to start at such a young age is tragic. Yes, it is true that the kids learn so much, probably become great people as a result but, they have an entitlement to be children. No kid should have to work that hard. Hell, if they were forced out to work at that age, for those hours and on that money, people would be arrested, the word ‘abuse’ would be in the headlines. But, because these kids are born into their role it is somehow acceptable. Let me tell you, it is not.

How is this for a tangent and an inappropriate one at that? Earlier on this morning I booked our honeymood to Florida and debated what sort of car to book, whether to go for a basic car to get us from one place to another or to splash out a bit and really live it up … I chose the latter and am now feeling ashamed of myself. If I can console myself in any way it is that I do volunteer for both Young Carers and those of any age. This is demonstrated in the now ‘live’ website for Northamptonshire Carers which you can look at here Like many small charities they are also looking for direct donations even more so maybe for the older Carers. Please, anyone reading this, if you were moved by Comic Relief and want to offer something, cut out the middle man.

Speaking personally for a moment. As the father of disabled children and ‘normal’ children I have guilt, very real feelings of deep guilt and remourse. I don’t know if I could have done more to protect the ‘normal’ kids and save them having to be Young Carers, I really don’t. I question myself loads on whether I should have protected them from it, allowed them a full and healthy childhood. Not being directly in the role any longer it is easy for me to look back and wonder why I just could not get on with it on my own and left them out of it? How much different would their lives had been with a little more normality? If I had sorted something for the Caring role, had I not been so ‘Out’ as a gay man? I do blame myself because who else is there to blame? Maybe my failure should be shared with society which doesn’t support Carers, which leaves us to cope, feel isolated and be treated as the lowest of the low?

Is it my guilt which drives me on to help others now and do my best for them? Maybe that’s just me anyway but I do know I used to be a really lazy guy, I really thought I was owed something by society. Maybe by being forced to do so much I have learnt the lesson I needed to learn? Whatever the motivation, and I really don’t know, I am glad that I can help other vulnerable people. If I can make a difference then life is worth living. Thank you now and then would be nice but, if that has any part in my thought process then it cannot be a very significant part!

My this is proving to be a long one … as the actor said to the gardener.

I think I may be needing a holiday at some point!

Comic 'Give me some ' relief (from it)

My word, this has to be one of the most boring excuses for entertainment ever. I know the BBC have been going down hill when it comes to comedy in recent years, hell, radio 4 is almost a byword for failed humour, but this effort, if we can be so generous, is dire, indeed, it make dire seem like a comedy sketch in its own right.

By the way and, as an aside, I am sure I gave strict instructions that today was to be warm and sunny, not impressed, not please at all.

Meanwhile … You see, I can see that the show is meant to be funny, the clue is, I suppose, in the title. However, maybe we should get advertising standards involved as the closest we have so far got to ‘comic’ was the hoodie the EMO boy was wearing in OXFAM, Manchester. People, this is simply not funny. Is it at all possible for this programme to get any worse? I suspect, quite tragically, that it is. All the talent we have in the country and yet we have Jonathan Ross heading the show so soon after his fall from grace for, basically, being Jonathan Ross which, as we know, is also another of those by-word things and, in his case, a by-word for arsehole.

To support them for just a little … Young Carers are getting a good mention. I doubt the general ignorant public will understand what they experience in their young lives. They, the general ignorant, are probably sat at home wondering why these kids are not at school where they should be, why their parents are so fat, why social services have not got it sorted yet. It doesn’t work like that people. Social services save somewhere like, hell, the country saves £87billion every year by ‘using’ unpaid Carers. It is not in their best interest to sort anything out. If they sorted it out the country would grind to a hault. That sort of money is more than the entire NHS budget, imagine that. If every unpaid Carer quit tomorrow the country really would collapse. That is how important unpaid Carers are. For Caring to start at such a young age is tragic. Yes, it is true that the kids learn so much, probably become great people as a result but, they have an entitlement to be children. No kid should have to work that hard. Hell, if they were forced out to work at that age, for those hours and on that money, people would be arrested, the word ‘abuse’ would be in the headlines. But, because these kids are born into their role it is somehow acceptable. Let me tell you, it is not.

How is this for a tangent and an inappropriate one at that? Earlier on this morning I booked our honeymood to Florida and debated what sort of car to book, whether to go for a basic car to get us from one place to another or to splash out a bit and really live it up … I chose the latter and am now feeling ashamed of myself. If I can console myself in any way it is that I do volunteer for both Young Carers and those of any age. This is demonstrated in the now ‘live’ website for Northamptonshire Carers which you can look at here Like many small charities they are also looking for direct donations even more so maybe for the older Carers. Please, anyone reading this, if you were moved by Comic Relief and want to offer something, cut out the middle man.

Speaking personally for a moment. As the father of disabled children and ‘normal’ children I have guilt, very real feelings of deep guilt and remourse. I don’t know if I could have done more to protect the ‘normal’ kids and save them having to be Young Carers, I really don’t. I question myself loads on whether I should have protected them from it, allowed them a full and healthy childhood. Not being directly in the role any longer it is easy for me to look back and wonder why I just could not get on with it on my own and left them out of it? How much different would their lives had been with a little more normality? If I had sorted something for the Caring role, had I not been so ‘Out’ as a gay man? I do blame myself because who else is there to blame? Maybe my failure should be shared with society which doesn’t support Carers, which leaves us to cope, feel isolated and be treated as the lowest of the low?

Is it my guilt which drives me on to help others now and do my best for them? Maybe that’s just me anyway but I do know I used to be a really lazy guy, I really thought I was owed something by society. Maybe by being forced to do so much I have learnt the lesson I needed to learn? Whatever the motivation, and I really don’t know, I am glad that I can help other vulnerable people. If I can make a difference then life is worth living. Thank you now and then would be nice but, if that has any part in my thought process then it cannot be a very significant part!

My this is proving to be a long one … as the actor said to the gardener.

I think I may be needing a holiday at some point!

I need warm sunshine

Don’t know about you but I am sick of walking across soggy mud, getting soaked in the rain, freezing, not knowing what to wear, opening windows, shutting them again, doors banging in the wind, rubbish all over the garden … totally and absolutely pissed off with it and propose that we declare Friday 13th March a good weather day with bright sunshine, a warm southerly breeze and beer in the garden. Glad we got that sorted.

News, Jade Goody is still alive, she is still in the papers every day and on TV and most of us are still wondering, who the fuck is Jade Goody? Look love, it’s terribly sad you dyeing and all but, who the hell are you? I mean, we have our ‘A’ list celebrities and our ‘B’ list and those on Eastenders but, Jade petal, if there is a list somewhere below ‘Z’, then it is too high for you! Please, your kids will do just fine in the local school, you don’t need a huge house, have some dignity love, give us all a break and spend what time left with your family … those that are not currently at her Majesty’s pleasure that is.

On a more local level … last Friday, travelling to the Carers Centre in Northampton, I turned into Overstone Road from St Michaels Road (Kinky Boots Road as I know it). Well, this bloke was crossing the road from right to left with his three lads so I stopped to allow him to carry on crossing. Two reasons, the first, it was just polite, the second, the law says I had to. I smiled at the fella, he smiled back, said thank you and then – BANG – I am hit in the back by some bloke driving a white van! The Mazda is a bit of a mess but the insurance will sort that out. The Transit was an even bigger mess … at least now I know how tough my car is. I think I may have injured my shoulder though. It is rather painful though I do still have full movement. Still trying to work out whether or not I should get it checked out.

Last week, and not bad for an unpaid volunteer, I was interviewing applicants for 8 newly created County Council positions of Carer Assessment Officers. It was actually great fun and very educational. Also, not a little daunting having the power to decide whether someone got the job or not. Speaking of work (as I call my unpaid volunteering), the website is now ‘live’. Go check it out at here . Just one last thing in relation to work, I know how boring someone else’s job can be … I have also been creating some display material for the doctors surgeries in Harlestone Road and Duston Berrywood Road. They should hopefully be on the wall within the week.

Update on ‘the wedding’. well, tomorrow we make the booking secure by paying upfront. Quite nervous about it to be honest. We may even get some rings sorted but I have not decided about that yet. Also, and this is not set in stone yet, I should be able to book our honeymoon. If I have done my sums correct we can manage two weeks in Florida. A large part of that will be paid for with Tesco loyalty vouchers else we’d be lucky to manage a weekend in Clacton! All that bit is reasonably certain. What is not so certain and something I have been reluctact to write about is, Daisy & James. For us lot this is becoming rather old, albeit very current, news. Daisy is expecting a baby later on this year, around September or October. James and Daisy want to get married the same day that Deej and I have out civil partnership. By then Daisy will be 16, he will be 17. Terribly young to be getting married but then again, in comparison to having a baby, not such a big deal. The problem has been James parents. For weeks they have been resolute in their refusal to give permission for James to marry as they must because of his age. Finally they have set down some conditions for this permission which James will have achieved by the end of this week. I am just so hoping they don’t hurt him even more by then refusing once again. I would like to somewhere down the line get the slightest piece of respect for these people.

On the subject of respect … James dad has refused to attend their wedding (if he allows it) on the grounds that it follows a civil partnership. On those same lines, my ex father in law has taken the same attitude along with the husband of Daisy’s mum. Why people cannot for just an hour or so place their prejudice to one side is beyond me.

Fingers crossed that James parents give consent and stick to it.

Now, should we send out any official invites? You see dear reader, I rather don’t want to read or hear any more excuses. If people want to be there then great, amazing in fact. If not, can they quietly just not be? Can people just RSVP a yes and keep their contrary opinions to themselves? I don’t know and this, you may have guessed, is what is making me wonder whether to send invites at all.

I need warm sunshine

Don’t know about you but I am sick of walking across soggy mud, getting soaked in the rain, freezing, not knowing what to wear, opening windows, shutting them again, doors banging in the wind, rubbish all over the garden … totally and absolutely pissed off with it and propose that we declare Friday 13th March a good weather day with bright sunshine, a warm southerly breeze and beer in the garden. Glad we got that sorted.

News, Jade Goody is still alive, she is still in the papers every day and on TV and most of us are still wondering, who the fuck is Jade Goody? Look love, it’s terribly sad you dyeing and all but, who the hell are you? I mean, we have our ‘A’ list celebrities and our ‘B’ list and those on Eastenders but, Jade petal, if there is a list somewhere below ‘Z’, then it is too high for you! Please, your kids will do just fine in the local school, you don’t need a huge house, have some dignity love, give us all a break and spend what time left with your family … those that are not currently at her Majesty’s pleasure that is.

On a more local level … last Friday, travelling to the Carers Centre in Northampton, I turned into Overstone Road from St Michaels Road (Kinky Boots Road as I know it). Well, this bloke was crossing the road from right to left with his three lads so I stopped to allow him to carry on crossing. Two reasons, the first, it was just polite, the second, the law says I had to. I smiled at the fella, he smiled back, said thank you and then – BANG – I am hit in the back by some bloke driving a white van! The Mazda is a bit of a mess but the insurance will sort that out. The Transit was an even bigger mess … at least now I know how tough my car is. I think I may have injured my shoulder though. It is rather painful though I do still have full movement. Still trying to work out whether or not I should get it checked out.

Last week, and not bad for an unpaid volunteer, I was interviewing applicants for 8 newly created County Council positions of Carer Assessment Officers. It was actually great fun and very educational. Also, not a little daunting having the power to decide whether someone got the job or not. Speaking of work (as I call my unpaid volunteering), the website is now ‘live’. Go check it out at here . Just one last thing in relation to work, I know how boring someone else’s job can be … I have also been creating some display material for the doctors surgeries in Harlestone Road and Duston Berrywood Road. They should hopefully be on the wall within the week.

Update on ‘the wedding’. well, tomorrow we make the booking secure by paying upfront. Quite nervous about it to be honest. We may even get some rings sorted but I have not decided about that yet. Also, and this is not set in stone yet, I should be able to book our honeymoon. If I have done my sums correct we can manage two weeks in Florida. A large part of that will be paid for with Tesco loyalty vouchers else we’d be lucky to manage a weekend in Clacton! All that bit is reasonably certain. What is not so certain and something I have been reluctact to write about is, Daisy & James. For us lot this is becoming rather old, albeit very current, news. Daisy is expecting a baby later on this year, around September or October. James and Daisy want to get married the same day that Deej and I have out civil partnership. By then Daisy will be 16, he will be 17. Terribly young to be getting married but then again, in comparison to having a baby, not such a big deal. The problem has been James parents. For weeks they have been resolute in their refusal to give permission for James to marry as they must because of his age. Finally they have set down some conditions for this permission which James will have achieved by the end of this week. I am just so hoping they don’t hurt him even more by then refusing once again. I would like to somewhere down the line get the slightest piece of respect for these people.

On the subject of respect … James dad has refused to attend their wedding (if he allows it) on the grounds that it follows a civil partnership. On those same lines, my ex father in law has taken the same attitude along with the husband of Daisy’s mum. Why people cannot for just an hour or so place their prejudice to one side is beyond me.

Fingers crossed that James parents give consent and stick to it.

Now, should we send out any official invites? You see dear reader, I rather don’t want to read or hear any more excuses. If people want to be there then great, amazing in fact. If not, can they quietly just not be? Can people just RSVP a yes and keep their contrary opinions to themselves? I don’t know and this, you may have guessed, is what is making me wonder whether to send invites at all.

Time warp

Some may have noticed that for a while there my blog slipped back into 2005. Thankfully I had a back-up of it else several years of memories would have been lost … maybe not so terrible!

OK, this is March, somewhere we had February. After a nice warm (ish) sort of weekend we are back to below average for this time of year. Lots of water all over the place, strong winds and cold.

I am still knackered.

Later this year and apart from ‘husband’, I add another title to that of ‘dad’ … can you guess what it is yet?

Some people, by the way, have no concept of what ‘being there for their kids’ is all about … grrr.

Time warp

Some may have noticed that for a while there my blog slipped back into 2005. Thankfully I had a back-up of it else several years of memories would have been lost … maybe not so terrible!

OK, this is March, somewhere we had February. After a nice warm (ish) sort of weekend we are back to below average for this time of year. Lots of water all over the place, strong winds and cold.

I am still knackered.

Later this year and apart from ‘husband’, I add another title to that of ‘dad’ … can you guess what it is yet?

Some people, by the way, have no concept of what ‘being there for their kids’ is all about … grrr.