Living Well

 So reads the book according to me!

Look, let's get utterly real here, no one person, no group of people can tell you how to live your life. If they could, you would follow their advice and then, would it even be 'your' life?

Fundamentals

• Grey is how most of us live our lives. We can choose to live a black and white life but then, that isn't how life ever is. Is Father Christmas existing black and white or, maybe a grey area. One hand will tell us that obviously, not 'real', But, on the other hand, the magic and joy he brings, that's real so, if we're just going to be black and white, we miss out on that magic. Christmas is a very successful time of year thanks, in no small part, to whichever version of Father Christmas tied up to it. 
• This leads us on to honesty. The above shows us that just not sharing the truth rather, we effectively quietly lie. But this lie is a lie for good and that is a good lie, a white lie you might say. We do it all over the place, surprise birthday parties are based on white lies. Gifts too which we make huge efforts to hide are 'hiding the truth'. These are the untruths we use in life to make each other happy. Where this crashes into 'grey' is, when a loved one asks if they look good in something, do we answer honestly which may hurt them or, do we lie and make them happy. In the latter option, they already know the answer so it's a double lie of convenience. So, white lies, grey areas ... maybe I will cover that later. How about in life generally? Do we get on if we always tell the truth? Well, let's look at this sort of honesty. In a career, if we are totally certain we will never get discovered, it might benefit us but boy, if we do our career is over, it'll follow us all of our lives. Many in positions of power have fallen when their truth came out. Let me suggest this to you. Be Honest! In most aspects of our life we might consider looking at this as a theory, if there is the slightest chance our truth will get known, tell it ourselves. It might be difficult to tell it as it is and take the consequences but, our honesty means that we are in control of our own destiny. Tell everyone the truth about how things happened, how we got to where we are now, don't be tempted to make stuff up and see your ability to shape your own destiny unfold. Who really wants to live in fear of that one person who knows our truth talking to someone else we would rather they didn't? We cannot control the paths of others and people who may not know each other now might become best buddies later and won't even realise they both have a different truth. So don't, give them the same truth and it will never be an issue.
• Priorities Not an easy one this because we all have many differing experiences. All I can share here is what I place in what order. 

1. Earn a living, without money nothing below this makes any sense.
2. Pay bills in the right order, never try to avoid paying them. Always it is keep a roof over our head first
3. Pay utility companies, we need energy to fuel our home, to cook and keep warm, we need water for just about everything.
4. Get food. I know it's number 3 but, not much point having food without the above
5. If you have kids, pay for what they need (it is underlined for a reason). They need good food, clothes and the gloriously free resource of your time and love.
6. Your way of getting to where you earn your money (transport) otherwise, get a bike or walk.
7. Pleasure. Under this is effectively everything else. Social time, your broadband, TV subscriptions, your phone

• Relationships. There is a whole page on this one. In a nutshell ... keep your promises, be honest, think of them first (if they reciprocate, it's working), disagree quietly and with respect. If you cannot live under this regime, you are not yet ready for a relationship
• Enjoying Life. Be in control always. Life offers so many temptations to be out of control and, hell, it can be fun when we have zero responsibilities. Try to remember to apologies to parents for having puked on their carpet. However, if we get drunk we are not in control. Eventually, hangovers will happen and then they will happen every time. For every great night we lose a whole day, sometimes more. Recreational drugs ... LOL indeed, recreational! The word itself means for enjoyment. But look, it's a short lived pleasure because, so few of these chemicals are non-addictive and just about all of them, despite what your best mate tells you, have consequences which might last a lifetime. At the very least you are given a false perspective. If you are living the life and enjoying it, do you 'need' to enjoy it more? If you smoke, would you even recognise that the first few times it raised you up, gave you a mild 'high'? Not enough to change your evening or make it better though. However, after a few weeks, that stops. What you are left with is withdrawal symptoms. You never go back to feeling like you are enjoying life (which you were before you started), you just stop the fags for a few days and feel anything but enjoyment, So, in essence, you've just got hooked on something which now controls you. Weed, yeah, that glorious relaxing, stimulating and whatever else kind of experience it is for you. However, it's false again because ... OK, look, let me explain it like this. You win the lottery and that's great. Sure, you are really happy already, life is good but, wow, you now have shit tons of money. You live a different life and you are happy. If the money ran out, could you go back to your old life and be as happy as you were before? Does this make sense? If you are lucky you can come off weed without the paranoia kicking in which lasts for life by the way. Drugs more potent, do you know the various different ways these can fuck with you? How they can totally ruin your life, your relationships? How they can cause permanent damage to your body? If you really don't care about anything and you can't hurt anyone by destroying yourself then, go ahead but, if just one person shows love for you, grab that love and hold on tight, it'll be way more precious to you later. Social Times Have loads but with a restricted number of people. The more people you call friends, the less friends you actually have. Friendship needs to be an investment not a hobby or collection. Facebook has been the single biggest killer of real world friendships. No one has 2000+ friends! If you have 1-3 real friends you have an amazing life. Everyone beyond that is not a friend, they are just people you know. Your friends come first always. 
• Family. Let me be very clear here, you CAN choose who your family are. Just because you share the same blood, this does not mean you share the same values. If their values are not the values you hold for yourself, if they are incompatible, then distance yourself. Our family commands our respect from birth, whether they retain it or not in adulthood is up to them. Toxic people are toxic people and being 'family' is no excuse. Remember also, if you get married, your husband or wife has just become your number one family member, it's actually a promise you will make to each other, never forget that. If you cannot accept that, do not get married. Like all family though, they are entitled to your respect unless they give you a very good reason not to.