Apologies for (apparent) duplicate blog

It is not quite the same, I correct one paragraph placement mistake which made it look kind of screwy.

and … on to today.

Strictly speaking, that’d be yesterday or, whenever it happens to be when you read this.

Tried to book up the ‘experience’ things we got for our wedding … oh dear 🙁

Our ‘Red Letter Day’ could have been amazing had I only not been so damn busy. Had I arranged it last month we could have gone see ‘Avenue Q’ but, as it happens, the entire offer has ended now to be replaced with a similar offer but without Avenue Q and in a different hotel one which says on their site ‘Building work continues on the lower levels and some noise may disrupt clients’. Oh joy, so I go see a show we don’t really want to see in a hotel that is going to keep me awake … not overly impressed. They have said I can transfer it to a deal of similar value or wait until they have their new selection of shows in January. I don’t know whether to do that or just book a relaxing overnight stay in a hotel with dinner included … seems a bit of a come down after a London show thrown in but then, that only included continental breakfast. The other downside of the London option is that we are already knackered by the time we get there and then we have to walk to the theatre and find somewhere that doesn’t require a loan to have dinner. Oh, I really don’t know.

The other one, as provided by Citroen, we have decided to go for the meal deal at the Marriot in Northampton. It’s a 3 course meal, nothing too fancy and local, that sort of appeals. Our other option was a hair cut and makeover followed by a photo shoot but that would have meant Birmingham and more expense.

Daisy has been getting too many headaches. It is probably the medication but, along with other symptoms, it seems more like exhaustion. Will she take a break? Not likely.

Lovely to see Laura here earlier, great to speak to someone intelligent on subjects I am interested in as well as Daisy.

Not a lot else happening …. had a bad experience on Ebay but only a few quid and I got most of it back … also got the money back for the game I ordered which went to the wrong address.

Apologies for (apparent) duplicate blog

It is not quite the same, I correct one paragraph placement mistake which made it look kind of screwy.

and … on to today.

Strictly speaking, that’d be yesterday or, whenever it happens to be when you read this.

Tried to book up the ‘experience’ things we got for our wedding … oh dear 🙁

Our ‘Red Letter Day’ could have been amazing had I only not been so damn busy. Had I arranged it last month we could have gone see ‘Avenue Q’ but, as it happens, the entire offer has ended now to be replaced with a similar offer but without Avenue Q and in a different hotel one which says on their site ‘Building work continues on the lower levels and some noise may disrupt clients’. Oh joy, so I go see a show we don’t really want to see in a hotel that is going to keep me awake … not overly impressed. They have said I can transfer it to a deal of similar value or wait until they have their new selection of shows in January. I don’t know whether to do that or just book a relaxing overnight stay in a hotel with dinner included … seems a bit of a come down after a London show thrown in but then, that only included continental breakfast. The other downside of the London option is that we are already knackered by the time we get there and then we have to walk to the theatre and find somewhere that doesn’t require a loan to have dinner. Oh, I really don’t know.

The other one, as provided by Citroen, we have decided to go for the meal deal at the Marriot in Northampton. It’s a 3 course meal, nothing too fancy and local, that sort of appeals. Our other option was a hair cut and makeover followed by a photo shoot but that would have meant Birmingham and more expense.

Daisy has been getting too many headaches. It is probably the medication but, along with other symptoms, it seems more like exhaustion. Will she take a break? Not likely.

Lovely to see Laura here earlier, great to speak to someone intelligent on subjects I am interested in as well as Daisy.

Not a lot else happening …. had a bad experience on Ebay but only a few quid and I got most of it back … also got the money back for the game I ordered which went to the wrong address.

Too early for a review of 2009?

Yeah, probably but …

Wow! What a fooking year this has been! Happy families to a family at war, new friends, old friends rediscovered … hey, new life, how about that?

November 2008, where were we? We were just a week away from an amazing family holiday to Disneyland Resort Paris. Yeah, that was a year ago this week, amazing what can happen in just one short year. What did we know? Daisy and James were a happy couple. James was mad, as always (tis why we love him) but, I think, really happy. Soon after we came back (I think it was) was when I was thought to have died, that was a laugh. (For the record, I didn’t)

Was it all rosy? No, of course not, when is life ever? Things were hard work especially with getting things sorted for James and I am sure we were probably soon into decorating and rearranging like mad things.

2009 started, two great house parties at the end of 2008 “Your kids don’t deserve you” was hysterical …. “Steve is a great dad” was touching … those who know those quotes, know. Billy smiled, Anna lusted after Daisy, a punch up on the lawn, Alex stuck in the toilet asleep, Matt not lasting past 9pm! Wow, that was fun  🙂

In February, or thereabouts, I got ‘Hopscotch’ which those who wrote it will know about. I am going to keep that letter always because I think it was a time when we were all being totally honest with each other, a time when we knew how each other felt.

We discovered Daisy was expecting … boy that was a big one to swallow. It’s tough, as a parent, to have a view on something yet to allow our children to make their own decisions. My view was that the pregnancy should be terminated, I didn’t think it was sensible for them to have a child, that it would impact on Daisy’s education, would place to great a strain on their relationship. I did need though to not enforce my views on what had to be the decision of those with the right to decide, Daisy and James. They chose to keep it and, I remember just how happy they both were about that choice, I had to support them. At the time, despite my concerns, I believed they could both be great parents. Daisy because I know her well enough and James, because he’s basically a good person with a terrible childhood. I thought seeing the mistakes of his parents he’d not make the same ones. I can only hope for the best in any situation.

By March, Deej and me were arranging our civil partnership, all seemed very low key and somewhat unreal. The plan was also that Daisy and James got married at the same time, it seemed like a good plan.

Later that month I had a week out with a great week over in France with Robin which I enjoyed very much though it was also hard work … I don’t mind hard work.

I had a car accident in April, I still get pain so probably settled too early but hey ho, we live n learn.

In May, things had gone wrong for Daisy and James and their wedding was off. What went wrong doesn’t really matter now, it did and that was that. I think there are regrets there, I hope, by now, some real understanding of what exactly happened and where it went wrong, I may never know.

By June it was all over between Daisy and James, a very unpleasant time. Sean came round to console Daisy and, they both explored their feelings whilst Daisy was in Spain with Matt and Anne. When she got back, they decided they wanted to give a relationship a try.

As per usual, dive in the deep end and, just like James, this relationship started by Sean moving in! I can’t complain, I did the same with both Nick and Deej, well, pretty much with Nick. I can’t imagine that was an easy time for James, it must have hurt like hell and been one of the most confusing experiences of his life. I don’t know, if it were me though I’d be thinking like this:

‘I am in love with this person and everything seems to be OK and, even more amazing, she’s having our baby. I want to be a man and provide for her and the baby, I don’t know how. I am going to use what I know but, it’s all gone horribly wrong. Now she says it’s all over and she’s with someone else, he’ll be there with ‘my’ baby and I won’t.’

Looking back, I don’t think I’d have dealt with that too well back in 1979 when I was that sort of age. James must have felt like the world was against him,  don’t know though, it’s just speculation.

We move on, I had another birthday in there somewhere with a very unpleasant visitor. Those who were there know about that, I have written about it before.

July 10th and we get married, an amazing day surrounded by nearly all those we’d have wanted there with some exceptions which made us quite sad and, if not ‘sad’ there not being there was regrettable.

Honeymoon in Florida (Woop) except we both got sort of ill, me more than Deej to the point that the only sleep we could get was with us being in different rooms. The finale to that holiday was finding out that Freddie had been killed and that we were stuck in Orlando airport for over 24 hours.

A degree of poo hit the fan in late summer, it was not a good time for anyone. I don’t think we’ve yet fully recovered from it. We managed a degree of agreement, things settled for a while and Josh came along toward the end of September

I need to mention, because this is really important, at some point during the year and I have no idea of when, Matt & Anne shared the news that Anne was expecting a baby in December.

Things were amazing for a week after he was born then, it all went wrong again and I don’t know why, I so totally don’t have a clue.

As is usually the case, I was the guy who seems to have taken the blame for it all, I can’t do right for doing wrong it would seem but, I am gonna keep trying all the same.

October Josh met as many family members as wanted to meet him, it is still terribly sad that some have not yet met him, they are missing out on so much. That would be my sister who may already be a great aunt for all I know but she may have enjoyed meeting Josh all the same and, both James parents. At least one set of great grandparents on James side and his uncle Carl met him and that was a lovely visit. It’s not about ‘stuff’ with babies, it’s about time and love.

We all went to see Scrooge in Birmingham in October too with Robin, that was amazing.

How are things now?

Look, I am not going to say things are perfect they are not. I spend most of my life, as does Deej, way too tired, emotionally and physically drained. Daisy has been doing way too much caring for Josh and her ‘A’ levels.Sean too has taken on a huge load. Stepping into a parental role not of his making at 17 is an incredibly difficult thing to do and he deserves masses of respect for it. That he screws up now and then is understandable and forgiveable. Zoey is sort of OK, she is Zoey, as always. She has so enjoyed her experience with Andrew and Louisa I feel she is going to miss it terribly. Josh has a preliminary diagnosis of spherocytosis, I have explained what that is in an earlier entry. I suspect it is going to mean a fair bit of back and forth to the hospital and doctors surgery. James, I don’t know. I want to see the good in him that I know is there, my fear is, he’s gone a little off the rails, I want to be wrong.

How do I want things to be?

Well, we could all get back to November 2008 if we wanted to, we are all the same people with one extra person now to bind us together. We can’t get back to Daisy and James getting together again, that is not going to happen and, neither should it, she and Sean are well suited. Whilst that is going to well, other possibilities cannot even be considered and should not be. But, even so, with the awkwardness there must surely be, we can make this work, can’t we?

Back in the 80’s I was involved in family politics big time, it was one of the worst experiences of my life, I changed my family name over it things got so bad. I lost most of my extended family and my only sibling to assumption and lack of communication. I don’t want anyone in my family to go through that, my ever increasing family. All sort of people who have been a couple can and do manage to get along, come to befriend new partners as part of an extended family, maybe we should do the same?

Am sticking my neck out here … I would like a mad Christmas … on Christmas day I want to see all my kids, I want to see all my grandchildren (both) and their parents too, all of them and to enjoy that experience. On Boxing day I’d like to have as many of them as possible back again in a much calmer atmosphere of silly board games, Xbox mayhem, noise, shitty nappies, mess and general madness. On New Years Eve I’d like to open the doors to friends, see how it goes, chill out a little.

I would very much like to start 2010 as 2008 ended, can we make that happen? How about everyone starts talking, making plans to get it happening? Put aside differences and, even if this is, one last chance of the family as it could be, humour the old man for a few days and see what happens. If it all goes tits up, it’s only one more Christmas, they’ll be another next year (I hope)

Too early for a review of 2009?

Yeah, probably but …

Wow! What a fooking year this has been! Happy families to a family at war, new friends, old friends rediscovered … hey, new life, how about that?

November 2008, where were we? We were just a week away from an amazing family holiday to Disneyland Resort Paris. Yeah, that was a year ago this week, amazing what can happen in just one short year. What did we know? Daisy and James were a happy couple. James was mad, as always (tis why we love him) but, I think, really happy. Soon after we came back (I think it was) was when I was thought to have died, that was a laugh. (For the record, I didn’t)

Was it all rosy? No, of course not, when is life ever? Things were hard work especially with getting things sorted for James and I am sure we were probably soon into decorating and rearranging like mad things.

2009 started, two great house parties at the end of 2008 “Your kids don’t deserve you” was hysterical …. “Steve is a great dad” was touching … those who know those quotes, know. Billy smiled, Anna lusted after Daisy, a punch up on the lawn, Alex stuck in the toilet asleep, Matt not lasting past 9pm! Wow, that was fun  🙂

In February, or thereabouts, I got ‘Hopscotch’ which those who wrote it will know about. I am going to keep that letter always because I think it was a time when we were all being totally honest with each other, a time when we knew how each other felt.

We discovered Daisy was expecting … boy that was a big one to swallow. It’s tough, as a parent, to have a view on something yet to allow our children to make their own decisions. My view was that the pregnancy should be terminated, I didn’t think it was sensible for them to have a child, that it would impact on Daisy’s education, would place to great a strain on their relationship. I did need though to not enforce my views on what had to be the decision of those with the right to decide, Daisy and James. They chose to keep it and, I remember just how happy they both were about that choice, I had to support them. At the time, despite my concerns, I believed they could both be great parents. Daisy because I know her well enough and James, because he’s basically a good person with a terrible childhood. I thought seeing the mistakes of his parents he’d not make the same ones. I can only hope for the best in any situation.

By March, Deej and me were arranging our civil partnership, all seemed very low key and somewhat unreal. The plan was also that Daisy and James got married at the same time, it seemed like a good plan.

Later that month I had a week out with a great week over in France with Robin which I enjoyed very much though it was also hard work … I don’t mind hard work.

I had a car accident in April, I still get pain so probably settled too early but hey ho, we live n learn.

In May, things had gone wrong for Daisy and James and their wedding was off. What went wrong doesn’t really matter now, it did and that was that. I think there are regrets there, I hope, by now, some real understanding of what exactly happened and where it went wrong, I may never know.

By June it was all over between Daisy and James, a very unpleasant time. Sean came round to console Daisy and, they both explored their feelings whilst Daisy was in Spain with Matt and Anne. When she got back, they decided they wanted to give a relationship a try.

As per usual, dive in the deep end and, just like James, this relationship started by Sean moving in! I can’t complain, I did the same with both Nick and Deej, well, pretty much with Nick. I can’t imagine that was an easy time for James, it must have hurt like hell and been one of the most confusing experiences of his life. I don’t know, if it were me though I’d be thinking like this:

‘I am in love with this person and everything seems to be OK and, even more amazing, she’s having our baby. I want to be a man and provide for her and the baby, I don’t know how. I am going to use what I know but, it’s all gone horribly wrong. Now she says it’s all over and she’s with someone else, he’ll be there with ‘my’ baby and I won’t.’

Looking back, I don’t think I’d have dealt with that too well back in 1979 when I was that sort of age. James must have felt like the world was against him,  don’t know though, it’s just speculation.

We move on, I had another birthday in there somewhere with a very unpleasant visitor. Those who were there know about that, I have written about it before.

July 10th and we get married, an amazing day surrounded by nearly all those we’d have wanted there with some exceptions which made us quite sad and, if not ‘sad’ there not being there was regrettable.

Honeymoon in Florida (Woop) except we both got sort of ill, me more than Deej to the point that the only sleep we could get was with us being in different rooms. The finale to that holiday was finding out that Freddie had been killed and that we were stuck in Orlando airport for over 24 hours.

A degree of poo hit the fan in late summer, it was not a good time for anyone. I don’t think we’ve yet fully recovered from it. We managed a degree of agreement, things settled for a while and Josh came along toward the end of September

I need to mention, because this is really important, at some point during the year and I have no idea of when, Matt & Anne shared the news that Anne was expecting a baby in December.

Things were amazing for a week after he was born then, it all went wrong again and I don’t know why, I so totally don’t have a clue.

As is usually the case, I was the guy who seems to have taken the blame for it all, I can’t do right for doing wrong it would seem but, I am gonna keep trying all the same.

October Josh met as many family members as wanted to meet him, it is still terribly sad that some have not yet met him, they are missing out on so much. That would be my sister who may already be a great aunt for all I know but she may have enjoyed meeting Josh all the same and, both James parents. At least one set of great grandparents on James side and his uncle Carl met him and that was a lovely visit. It’s not about ‘stuff’ with babies, it’s about time and love.

We all went to see Scrooge in Birmingham in October too with Robin, that was amazing.

How are things now?

Look, I am not going to say things are perfect they are not. I spend most of my life, as does Deej, way too tired, emotionally and physically drained. Daisy has been doing way too much caring for Josh and her ‘A’ levels.Sean too has taken on a huge load. Stepping into a parental role not of his making at 17 is an incredibly difficult thing to do and he deserves masses of respect for it. That he screws up now and then is understandable and forgiveable. Zoey is sort of OK, she is Zoey, as always. She has so enjoyed her experience with Andrew and Louisa I feel she is going to miss it terribly. Josh has a preliminary diagnosis of spherocytosis, I have explained what that is in an earlier entry. I suspect it is going to mean a fair bit of back and forth to the hospital and doctors surgery. James, I don’t know. I want to see the good in him that I know is there, my fear is, he’s gone a little off the rails, I want to be wrong.

How do I want things to be?

Well, we could all get back to November 2008 if we wanted to, we are all the same people with one extra person now to bind us together. We can’t get back to Daisy and James getting together again, that is not going to happen and, neither should it, she and Sean are well suited. Whilst that is going to well, other possibilities cannot even be considered and should not be. But, even so, with the awkwardness there must surely be, we can make this work, can’t we?

Back in the 80’s I was involved in family politics big time, it was one of the worst experiences of my life, I changed my family name over it things got so bad. I lost most of my extended family and my only sibling to assumption and lack of communication. I don’t want anyone in my family to go through that, my ever increasing family. All sort of people who have been a couple can and do manage to get along, come to befriend new partners as part of an extended family, maybe we should do the same?

Am sticking my neck out here … I would like a mad Christmas … on Christmas day I want to see all my kids, I want to see all my grandchildren (both) and their parents too, all of them and to enjoy that experience. On Boxing day I’d like to have as many of them as possible back again in a much calmer atmosphere of silly board games, Xbox mayhem, noise, shitty nappies, mess and general madness. On New Years Eve I’d like to open the doors to friends, see how it goes, chill out a little.

I would very much like to start 2010 as 2008 ended, can we make that happen? How about everyone starts talking, making plans to get it happening? Put aside differences and, even if this is, one last chance of the family as it could be, humour the old man for a few days and see what happens. If it all goes tits up, it’s only one more Christmas, they’ll be another next year (I hope)

M? You may well ask!

M is what you get when you start typing ‘My’ then accidentally hit the ‘enter’ key! My bad

My word (got it right that time) I am so tired!

Ahhh … just seen what I did … you see, being tired I started to type in the title bar, realised I was in the wrong place and hit the enter key to go down to the next line, no, it doesn’t have to make sense!

Was going to bed earlier last night but Josh needed feeding at midnight to 1pm. I wanted to go to bed at 11 but then, hold on, he’ll need feeding in just over an hour, what’s the point? The dishwasher still needed doing as did a few other things so I stayed up until what was eventually around 1:30. I got up at 8:45 so a lay in really but, didn’t feel like it, my allergies have also gone a little crazy which also makes me feel tired.

So, I am gonna go down and squirt my nose and then pass out for an hour or so … I hate this time of year, all my joints seem to play up making me feel older than I feel if that makes any sense at all!

Big thanks to Debbie … amazing how from mini disasters can come some great things.

M? You may well ask!

M is what you get when you start typing ‘My’ then accidentally hit the ‘enter’ key! My bad

My word (got it right that time) I am so tired!

Ahhh … just seen what I did … you see, being tired I started to type in the title bar, realised I was in the wrong place and hit the enter key to go down to the next line, no, it doesn’t have to make sense!

Was going to bed earlier last night but Josh needed feeding at midnight to 1pm. I wanted to go to bed at 11 but then, hold on, he’ll need feeding in just over an hour, what’s the point? The dishwasher still needed doing as did a few other things so I stayed up until what was eventually around 1:30. I got up at 8:45 so a lay in really but, didn’t feel like it, my allergies have also gone a little crazy which also makes me feel tired.

So, I am gonna go down and squirt my nose and then pass out for an hour or so … I hate this time of year, all my joints seem to play up making me feel older than I feel if that makes any sense at all!

Big thanks to Debbie … amazing how from mini disasters can come some great things.

Got one!

Got one!

Josh is smiling but ...

We really just don’t seem to be in the same place as the camera when he does it and it’s dead annoying!

He smiles loads now and what a lovely smile he has too but, you’ll have to make my word for it unless you’ve seen him recently! But hey, we are here most days, come say hello if you know us, just a quick call first.

My throat is getting better, not better but ‘getting’ better. I can now eat with hardly any pain relief at all. I am quite deaf though, I think my tubes are well and truly screwed up this time.

Been ordering way too much stuff for Josh on Ebay but he’s worth it … so what if we don’t really have the money!

Am missing friends, barely seem to get time to do anything any more or, if I do, am just too tired.

Off to Corby later with Daisy and Josh, not sure if Sean will be around in time but maybe Sean too. I stupidly forgot to take Jermaine’s money round to Matt & Anne’s yesterday so am taking it up later. I figured, as I have to collect Daisy at 5:30 anyway from her friends house I just as well shoot straight off to Corby from there rather than keep going back and forth. She has no plans now for this evening anyway so it works out OK.

A reasonably quiet week ahead, only one meeting which will probably be totally pointless.

For more up to date nonsense, probably best to keep ahead of things about me on Facebook

Josh is smiling but ...

We really just don’t seem to be in the same place as the camera when he does it and it’s dead annoying!

He smiles loads now and what a lovely smile he has too but, you’ll have to make my word for it unless you’ve seen him recently! But hey, we are here most days, come say hello if you know us, just a quick call first.

My throat is getting better, not better but ‘getting’ better. I can now eat with hardly any pain relief at all. I am quite deaf though, I think my tubes are well and truly screwed up this time.

Been ordering way too much stuff for Josh on Ebay but he’s worth it … so what if we don’t really have the money!

Am missing friends, barely seem to get time to do anything any more or, if I do, am just too tired.

Off to Corby later with Daisy and Josh, not sure if Sean will be around in time but maybe Sean too. I stupidly forgot to take Jermaine’s money round to Matt & Anne’s yesterday so am taking it up later. I figured, as I have to collect Daisy at 5:30 anyway from her friends house I just as well shoot straight off to Corby from there rather than keep going back and forth. She has no plans now for this evening anyway so it works out OK.

A reasonably quiet week ahead, only one meeting which will probably be totally pointless.

For more up to date nonsense, probably best to keep ahead of things about me on Facebook

Is it all worth it/

C’Mon, we all ask ourselves that at some point if we’re honest don’t we?

Well, yeah, I do too. Not to the point of ‘doing anything silly’ but certainly to that point of thinking over my life and seeing if the good stuff is worth the poo.

There are some moments in my life I shall treasure, some more than others … here are some of the people in my life who have made me a happy bunny … this is not to be confused with, people I have never had issues with, just those who have made my life a better place …

The one thing all of these people have in common is, in one way or another they are no longer in my life and whilst the memories are always there and always amazingly heart-warming, those times are in the past. To explain, kids, as they grow, develop and lose personalities so, as parents, we get used to countless different people, different attitudes, behaviour. As they grow up and become adults, they are different people to the kids I used to know, still amazing just not the same. They may not want the hugs any more, think they know all about life and don’t need their dad, move on and find other people to love. It’s as things should be but a feeling of loss all the same.

Of late, there have been some events which have been incredible in themselves …

Thing is, even when these moments have passed, they still happened, the memories are always there

As we go through life, there will be new memories to join them, new sorrows and a whole load of mumdane stuff we will most likely forget

One advantage I have of being 46 is that I know life has many new experiences just around the corner, it’s up to us to stick around long enough to find out what they are. Some will be amazing, like the times and people above, some quite boring and yes, some will be pure shit, it’s the life balance. Treat the shit as fertilizer, they are the times that enable us to grow and mature to be able to appreciate better the many things which can actually make us happy.

I feel OK, I hope you do to but, if you don’t … remember, I have love and happiness to share. I have not yet and nor do I intend to even manage to hate anyone. I am a fountain of forgiveness and I believe very strongly that there is no point forgiving unless it is total and, to be honest, yes, that opens a person up for abuse but better than going through life any alternative way dismissing countless people along the route as not worth the bother.

If you, as the reader of this, ever feel the need to talk, you know where I am. If you ask me to keep it confidential, that’s what I do. If you don’t, I may tell anyone I feel should know to help you or to help me.

No matter how bad we think things are, if we step back just a little, we’ll see what’s good around us, so, start looking and stop fretting.

Is it all worth it/

C’Mon, we all ask ourselves that at some point if we’re honest don’t we?

Well, yeah, I do too. Not to the point of ‘doing anything silly’ but certainly to that point of thinking over my life and seeing if the good stuff is worth the poo.

There are some moments in my life I shall treasure, some more than others … here are some of the people in my life who have made me a happy bunny … this is not to be confused with, people I have never had issues with, just those who have made my life a better place …

The one thing all of these people have in common is, in one way or another they are no longer in my life and whilst the memories are always there and always amazingly heart-warming, those times are in the past. To explain, kids, as they grow, develop and lose personalities so, as parents, we get used to countless different people, different attitudes, behaviour. As they grow up and become adults, they are different people to the kids I used to know, still amazing just not the same. They may not want the hugs any more, think they know all about life and don’t need their dad, move on and find other people to love. It’s as things should be but a feeling of loss all the same.

Of late, there have been some events which have been incredible in themselves …

Thing is, even when these moments have passed, they still happened, the memories are always there

As we go through life, there will be new memories to join them, new sorrows and a whole load of mumdane stuff we will most likely forget

One advantage I have of being 46 is that I know life has many new experiences just around the corner, it’s up to us to stick around long enough to find out what they are. Some will be amazing, like the times and people above, some quite boring and yes, some will be pure shit, it’s the life balance. Treat the shit as fertilizer, they are the times that enable us to grow and mature to be able to appreciate better the many things which can actually make us happy.

I feel OK, I hope you do to but, if you don’t … remember, I have love and happiness to share. I have not yet and nor do I intend to even manage to hate anyone. I am a fountain of forgiveness and I believe very strongly that there is no point forgiving unless it is total and, to be honest, yes, that opens a person up for abuse but better than going through life any alternative way dismissing countless people along the route as not worth the bother.

If you, as the reader of this, ever feel the need to talk, you know where I am. If you ask me to keep it confidential, that’s what I do. If you don’t, I may tell anyone I feel should know to help you or to help me.

No matter how bad we think things are, if we step back just a little, we’ll see what’s good around us, so, start looking and stop fretting.

Straw retreats over gay hate law

“Ministers have admitted defeat in their efforts to remove a “free speech” defence from new laws against inciting homophobic hatred.”

I don’t often ‘do’ politics on here, it isn’t often something annoys me enough but this is one of those times!


A police spokesperson in the house of lords claimed he was told by many police officers that gay ‘activists’ were abusing the current system making them have to act on such people as Buju Banton ‘simply’ because they used their freedom of speech to enable them to express their opinion on homosexuality. These activists were forcing the police to take action against such people as comedians merely for them making jokes with anti gay references.


Those lords of a religious bent were arguing that their relgion teaches them that homosexuality is wrong and they should be allowed a legal voice to share their views.


The thrust of the argument seemed to revolve around religion. The police complained that they had to inform a concerned citizen that her views may be construed as homophobic just because she questioned whether a gay parade should be allowed or not on the basis that it offended her religious beliefs. It was felt, by the police that her rights to express her convictions should not be overlooked in favour of the rights of gay people to be gay.


It was argued that if freedom of speech can be used as a defence for negativity toward faiths then the same defence should apply to peoples strong beliefs about homosexuality.


The problem with that, and this is why this remains a UK issue, is that relgion, what people believe to be true, is a choice. Being gay, bisexual or lesbian is not a choice, people are the way they are as much as if they were black or disabled.


What right does an unelected and out of touch body of people have to dictate to an elected government what should and should not become law? Surely they should be there to advise, consults and debate, not dictate?


This is all so shitty poofaced wrong! The House of Lords, the out of touch ones, should GET KNOTTED!

Straw retreats over gay hate law

“Ministers have admitted defeat in their efforts to remove a “free speech” defence from new laws against inciting homophobic hatred.”

I don’t often ‘do’ politics on here, it isn’t often something annoys me enough but this is one of those times!


A police spokesperson in the house of lords claimed he was told by many police officers that gay ‘activists’ were abusing the current system making them have to act on such people as Buju Banton ‘simply’ because they used their freedom of speech to enable them to express their opinion on homosexuality. These activists were forcing the police to take action against such people as comedians merely for them making jokes with anti gay references.


Those lords of a religious bent were arguing that their relgion teaches them that homosexuality is wrong and they should be allowed a legal voice to share their views.


The thrust of the argument seemed to revolve around religion. The police complained that they had to inform a concerned citizen that her views may be construed as homophobic just because she questioned whether a gay parade should be allowed or not on the basis that it offended her religious beliefs. It was felt, by the police that her rights to express her convictions should not be overlooked in favour of the rights of gay people to be gay.


It was argued that if freedom of speech can be used as a defence for negativity toward faiths then the same defence should apply to peoples strong beliefs about homosexuality.


The problem with that, and this is why this remains a UK issue, is that relgion, what people believe to be true, is a choice. Being gay, bisexual or lesbian is not a choice, people are the way they are as much as if they were black or disabled.


What right does an unelected and out of touch body of people have to dictate to an elected government what should and should not become law? Surely they should be there to advise, consults and debate, not dictate?


This is all so shitty poofaced wrong! The House of Lords, the out of touch ones, should GET KNOTTED!

Hereditary Spherocytosis

Hereditary Spherocytosis

Is the condition that James has (not his fault) and now, we believe, Josh has too. He still needs another confirmation blood test but it certainly seemed likely from what the doctor told me earlier from prilimary results.

Should we be worried? Well, I am not the expert. From what I understand it could well involve blood transfusions, food supplements and eventually, a Splenectomy.

 As a comfort we can look at James and his dad .André and see that it is possible to live quite a reasonably normal life with this condition. My concern is that, if not given the right treatment, it can cause behavioual issues later on which will effect his education. This is not from the spherocytosis itself but from the Anemia that it can cause. If it develops into Chronic anemia it may result in behavioral disturbances in children as a direct result of impaired neurological development in infants, and reduced scholastic performance in children of school age, this could, and I hope he doesn’t mind me saying so, explain a lot with James. I hope it may raise a smile when I say ‘It’s not your fault’.

Sean says, “Whatever we need to do we’ll do it”, Daisy says “We’ll deal with it” and, although I have ot yet heard, I am sure James will be positive and supportive too.

In a nutshell, what is it?

It is where the red blood cells are the wrong shape. The immune system in the splene detects this as them being abnormal and attacks them. This is just the splene doing what it is meant to do except, there are no ‘normal’ blood cells so effectively, it is destroying all the red blood cells in the body if left unchecked.

As the red blood cells are what carry our oxygen, the consequences can be bad.

What does this mean for Josh and the family?

Probably loads of hospital visits, more tests, worry and general feelings of helplessness. Both this family and James family are used to that sort of thing, them more specifically with this condition, us more with ‘conditions’ in general.

We all like to think of baby as being healthy, everyone says it don’t they? “It doesn’t matter, as long as it is healthy” it almost an attack on anything which could possibly deviate away from ‘normal’.Well, little Josh will be OK, he’ll have a good and happy life. Maybe now would be a really good time for everyone concerned with him to put aside their differences? Work really hard at getting along. Josh may have a very long and happy life but, if his time with us is, for whatever reason, limited, can’t we all at least try to make sure it is the absolute best possible? I am not trying to scare anyone here but, as with Jermaine, we have to accept all possibilities.

Hereditary Spherocytosis

Hereditary Spherocytosis

Is the condition that James has (not his fault) and now, we believe, Josh has too. He still needs another confirmation blood test but it certainly seemed likely from what the doctor told me earlier from prilimary results.

Should we be worried? Well, I am not the expert. From what I understand it could well involve blood transfusions, food supplements and eventually, a Splenectomy.

 As a comfort we can look at James and his dad .André and see that it is possible to live quite a reasonably normal life with this condition. My concern is that, if not given the right treatment, it can cause behavioual issues later on which will effect his education. This is not from the spherocytosis itself but from the Anemia that it can cause. If it develops into Chronic anemia it may result in behavioral disturbances in children as a direct result of impaired neurological development in infants, and reduced scholastic performance in children of school age, this could, and I hope he doesn’t mind me saying so, explain a lot with James. I hope it may raise a smile when I say ‘It’s not your fault’.

Sean says, “Whatever we need to do we’ll do it”, Daisy says “We’ll deal with it” and, although I have ot yet heard, I am sure James will be positive and supportive too.

In a nutshell, what is it?

It is where the red blood cells are the wrong shape. The immune system in the splene detects this as them being abnormal and attacks them. This is just the splene doing what it is meant to do except, there are no ‘normal’ blood cells so effectively, it is destroying all the red blood cells in the body if left unchecked.

As the red blood cells are what carry our oxygen, the consequences can be bad.

What does this mean for Josh and the family?

Probably loads of hospital visits, more tests, worry and general feelings of helplessness. Both this family and James family are used to that sort of thing, them more specifically with this condition, us more with ‘conditions’ in general.

We all like to think of baby as being healthy, everyone says it don’t they? “It doesn’t matter, as long as it is healthy” it almost an attack on anything which could possibly deviate away from ‘normal’.Well, little Josh will be OK, he’ll have a good and happy life. Maybe now would be a really good time for everyone concerned with him to put aside their differences? Work really hard at getting along. Josh may have a very long and happy life but, if his time with us is, for whatever reason, limited, can’t we all at least try to make sure it is the absolute best possible? I am not trying to scare anyone here but, as with Jermaine, we have to accept all possibilities.

Get Knotted

No, not you … As we go through life little expressions are picked up and we maybe don’t give a lot of thought as to where they originated … with the expression ‘get knotted’ I have to confess I was of the belief it had something to do with rope, wrong!

It derives from the term ‘knotting’ which is what happens when the penis of the dog swell in the virgina of the bitch and they are literally knotted together until he ejaculated and releases the pressure. So, the term actually means .. go fuck a dog.

On another subject, our Josh has not been overly happy today. We’ve checked him over many times, nothing obviously wrong, seems he just wants some attention as he generally calms quite quickly once he gets it. All the same, listening to a baby crying, even for just half an hour or so, is quite traumatic.

He’s sleeping now but, soon due another feed. Debbie brought some clothes over for him yesterday (Monday) and I have washed them (I always do) and ironed them as they are as good as new. He’s already been wearing some today and duly puked on one as well … for that matter, he also managed to pee on Deej so, all in, an eventful day for the little guy.

I was going to say something else but … totally slipped my mind, it will pop back in again as soon as I get comfy in bed!

Get Knotted

No, not you … As we go through life little expressions are picked up and we maybe don’t give a lot of thought as to where they originated … with the expression ‘get knotted’ I have to confess I was of the belief it had something to do with rope, wrong!

It derives from the term ‘knotting’ which is what happens when the penis of the dog swell in the virgina of the bitch and they are literally knotted together until he ejaculated and releases the pressure. So, the term actually means .. go fuck a dog.

On another subject, our Josh has not been overly happy today. We’ve checked him over many times, nothing obviously wrong, seems he just wants some attention as he generally calms quite quickly once he gets it. All the same, listening to a baby crying, even for just half an hour or so, is quite traumatic.

He’s sleeping now but, soon due another feed. Debbie brought some clothes over for him yesterday (Monday) and I have washed them (I always do) and ironed them as they are as good as new. He’s already been wearing some today and duly puked on one as well … for that matter, he also managed to pee on Deej so, all in, an eventful day for the little guy.

I was going to say something else but … totally slipped my mind, it will pop back in again as soon as I get comfy in bed!

3 Hours

That’s how much sleep I got last night, not a lot.

Finally got to the doctors earlier … didn’t see one though, I got the practise nurse instead. I have an ear infection, what a shock that is. Of course, they don’t read the notes and she had zero interest in my opinion so I have a spray to use … this may work, it probably won’t. As for my throat, yes, she said it looked inflammed but that, there is not can be done except pain relief and it should sort itself … if it hasn’t after a week, go back!

I do have some fairly good pain relief here but it barely touches the pain I am getting. I have had much worse in my life though so I can live with it.

Am dead tired but, not sleepy. I know I should sleep but, will I?

Cleaned the car earlier, that’ll be 4 months and one day since we got it, that’s a lot of dirt! Can’t say it drives any better though.

Everyone else has gone to bed, I wonder if the dishwasher, the washing machine and the tumble dryer have been sorted … oh the wonder of it all, all bets are off by the way.

Robin is suffering a rough patch right not, probably the weather, much love to him.

Gonna go sort out downstairs then, maybe try for bed.

3 Hours

That’s how much sleep I got last night, not a lot.

Finally got to the doctors earlier … didn’t see one though, I got the practise nurse instead. I have an ear infection, what a shock that is. Of course, they don’t read the notes and she had zero interest in my opinion so I have a spray to use … this may work, it probably won’t. As for my throat, yes, she said it looked inflammed but that, there is not can be done except pain relief and it should sort itself … if it hasn’t after a week, go back!

I do have some fairly good pain relief here but it barely touches the pain I am getting. I have had much worse in my life though so I can live with it.

Am dead tired but, not sleepy. I know I should sleep but, will I?

Cleaned the car earlier, that’ll be 4 months and one day since we got it, that’s a lot of dirt! Can’t say it drives any better though.

Everyone else has gone to bed, I wonder if the dishwasher, the washing machine and the tumble dryer have been sorted … oh the wonder of it all, all bets are off by the way.

Robin is suffering a rough patch right not, probably the weather, much love to him.

Gonna go sort out downstairs then, maybe try for bed.

Windows 7

So, How is it?

Well, it is sort of Vista only different. Effectively many of the cool features of a Mac and Linux have been plonked into W7.

Many features I have been using little utilities for over the years are in too, ‘New Folder’ seems to be an option almost everywhere.

Sharing, should everyone in the house happen to have W7, is also a lot easier and more secure. I found with Vista there was just no controlling it. It’d say a folder was shared but it obviously wasn’t. W7 also seems to accept that the owner of the PC is almost certainly the one with the admin rights. Vista has an annoying habit of telling someone they don’t have access rights to this and that and it’s a bugger to get them, W7 tells you there are no access rights but then says, if you want to press OK, it’ll give them to you, how neat is that?

Many features I still have not yet explored but another I like is the new themed styles. Again, what used to be a utility is now part of W7 and has been on the mac for an age, the desktop background can be set to smoothly change at pre-assigned intervals, very effective.

On my system, the centre mouse button was stolen and used to cascade windows which was dead annoying when I was trying to open a new tab in Firefox.

WMP12 has a more user friendly interface, more like it was designed to do something rather than having had little bits added to it over the years.

Of course, the most important difference to me is not W7 at all, it is the speed of this machine!

It edits HD video as though it is downloaded web content!

Speaking of that, it is easy to see how Microsoft are moving toward web use with Windows Live. There seem to be an increasing amount of options for uploading, including this blog which would have been really cool had it not, yesterday, deleted the user interface meaning I had to upload the entire thing again!

If I notice anything else or anyone has some specific questions, let me know.

Nice to see the comment feature is working!

Windows 7

So, How is it?

Well, it is sort of Vista only different. Effectively many of the cool features of a Mac and Linux have been plonked into W7.

Many features I have been using little utilities for over the years are in too, ‘New Folder’ seems to be an option almost everywhere.

Sharing, should everyone in the house happen to have W7, is also a lot easier and more secure. I found with Vista there was just no controlling it. It’d say a folder was shared but it obviously wasn’t. W7 also seems to accept that the owner of the PC is almost certainly the one with the admin rights. Vista has an annoying habit of telling someone they don’t have access rights to this and that and it’s a bugger to get them, W7 tells you there are no access rights but then says, if you want to press OK, it’ll give them to you, how neat is that?

Many features I still have not yet explored but another I like is the new themed styles. Again, what used to be a utility is now part of W7 and has been on the mac for an age, the desktop background can be set to smoothly change at pre-assigned intervals, very effective.

On my system, the centre mouse button was stolen and used to cascade windows which was dead annoying when I was trying to open a new tab in Firefox.

WMP12 has a more user friendly interface, more like it was designed to do something rather than having had little bits added to it over the years.

Of course, the most important difference to me is not W7 at all, it is the speed of this machine!

It edits HD video as though it is downloaded web content!

Speaking of that, it is easy to see how Microsoft are moving toward web use with Windows Live. There seem to be an increasing amount of options for uploading, including this blog which would have been really cool had it not, yesterday, deleted the user interface meaning I had to upload the entire thing again!

If I notice anything else or anyone has some specific questions, let me know.

Nice to see the comment feature is working!

Boy … it is so late

I have started the process of setting up my new PC, knackered already and Windows 7 is one hell of a learning curve!

Boy … it is so late

I have started the process of setting up my new PC, knackered already and Windows 7 is one hell of a learning curve!

Comments

I was in a rush earlier so I did not get the chance to fully clarify this blog.

The idea was that I had somewhere to write down my thoughts as I had them because, by writing them down I purge them from my system. To be honest, and I am, people around me don’t always want to hear what is troubling me, they have issues of their own.

Who reads this? Well, virtually no one if truth be known. There are a select group of people who get it in their email, some half a dozen, all people who know me. There are some who know my but just check in now and then. What there also are, and this is where there are issues, are people who have been told it exists, local people, who read it to grab snippets from it out of context for whatever reason. It is that latter group I have had trouble with in the past and will continue to have trouble with for one good reason … they simply miss the point of this blog. Were it posted on the BBC website then there could be a very good argument for getting upset but it isn’t. Each of us know more people personally we could tell things to than read this blog, the level of damage it could do is so small it isn’t worth worrying about. It is just the ramblings of one man, me, based on how I feel at any given moment. One assurance I shall always give is that everything written here is based on either my personal experience, something I know to be absolute fact or something I have every good reason to believe is fact. What this blog offers is the ability to write comments. Yes, it is true that I approve any commnets but, so far, I have only rejected one because that comment was, frankly, just a homophobic attack with nothing contructive. The purpose had already been served by my reading it in the first place.

Should someone wish to challenge something I have written then, more than likely, I would allow their comment to appear. That doesn’t mean I may not counter their comment but, at least there is shown to be a dialogue. To leave a comment, all someone has to do is click the link which says ‘comments’ at the bottom of the entry.

As a word of caution, if someone passes on an extract of this blog, please, it has to be read in context. Without a date and time and the surrounding text it becomes unreliable.

If, during an entry, I am speculating, it is normally quite clear I am doing so and also my reasons for doing so, if in any doubt at all, contact me and I shall clarify.

Should I, by chance, say something that someone can show me is untrue, I will remove the entry with an explanation and, most likely, an apology, one such example occured around July 2009 should anyone care to check.

As a person I have been incapable of maintaining hatred toward anyone for more than a few moments. I can’t even keep a dislike going for that long before I have to question myself as to why. The only constant is trust. If someone breaks the trust with me then it does take ‘time’ to correct. How long that is I never know, I just know that I always get to the point eventually when I choose forget that I didn’t trust them and wipe the slate clean.

Communication is the key to working with this blog. If something offends then challenge it with me, if it is wrong, let me know why. Bitching about it behind my back serves no purpose, it isn’t contructive, no one can move forward from it.

Hopefully, this is now perfectly clear and I can get back to ‘business as usual’.

My email address, by the way, should someone wish to use that, is williams.towers@gmail.com I am also on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/northampton and msn using northampton_uk@hotmail.com

Comments

I was in a rush earlier so I did not get the chance to fully clarify this blog.

The idea was that I had somewhere to write down my thoughts as I had them because, by writing them down I purge them from my system. To be honest, and I am, people around me don’t always want to hear what is troubling me, they have issues of their own.

Who reads this? Well, virtually no one if truth be known. There are a select group of people who get it in their email, some half a dozen, all people who know me. There are some who know my but just check in now and then. What there also are, and this is where there are issues, are people who have been told it exists, local people, who read it to grab snippets from it out of context for whatever reason. It is that latter group I have had trouble with in the past and will continue to have trouble with for one good reason … they simply miss the point of this blog. Were it posted on the BBC website then there could be a very good argument for getting upset but it isn’t. Each of us know more people personally we could tell things to than read this blog, the level of damage it could do is so small it isn’t worth worrying about. It is just the ramblings of one man, me, based on how I feel at any given moment. One assurance I shall always give is that everything written here is based on either my personal experience, something I know to be absolute fact or something I have every good reason to believe is fact. What this blog offers is the ability to write comments. Yes, it is true that I approve any commnets but, so far, I have only rejected one because that comment was, frankly, just a homophobic attack with nothing contructive. The purpose had already been served by my reading it in the first place.

Should someone wish to challenge something I have written then, more than likely, I would allow their comment to appear. That doesn’t mean I may not counter their comment but, at least there is shown to be a dialogue. To leave a comment, all someone has to do is click the link which says ‘comments’ at the bottom of the entry.

As a word of caution, if someone passes on an extract of this blog, please, it has to be read in context. Without a date and time and the surrounding text it becomes unreliable.

If, during an entry, I am speculating, it is normally quite clear I am doing so and also my reasons for doing so, if in any doubt at all, contact me and I shall clarify.

Should I, by chance, say something that someone can show me is untrue, I will remove the entry with an explanation and, most likely, an apology, one such example occured around July 2009 should anyone care to check.

As a person I have been incapable of maintaining hatred toward anyone for more than a few moments. I can’t even keep a dislike going for that long before I have to question myself as to why. The only constant is trust. If someone breaks the trust with me then it does take ‘time’ to correct. How long that is I never know, I just know that I always get to the point eventually when I choose forget that I didn’t trust them and wipe the slate clean.

Communication is the key to working with this blog. If something offends then challenge it with me, if it is wrong, let me know why. Bitching about it behind my back serves no purpose, it isn’t contructive, no one can move forward from it.

Hopefully, this is now perfectly clear and I can get back to ‘business as usual’.

My email address, by the way, should someone wish to use that, is williams.towers@gmail.com I am also on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/northampton and msn using northampton_uk@hotmail.com

Quick reminder

This blog is written live, not several weeks after the event so, anything read must be read in context with events at the time and date it was written. This may mean that several weeks later I may feel totally differently about an event or person than I did at the time of writing and, maybe wrongly, I don’t always write when that change happens.

I am going to quickly go back on one thing I wrote recently and this is going to be the very last time because I feel it is important because of recent events …

I do not hate James, I forgive James for his outburst of a couple of weeks ago, I do not hold grudges. I cannot yet fully trust James not to go there again but, I very much want to. Some horrible things have been said and done this past year, many will have been mentioned here. They are in the past. I would very much like them to stay there.

Quick reminder

This blog is written live, not several weeks after the event so, anything read must be read in context with events at the time and date it was written. This may mean that several weeks later I may feel totally differently about an event or person than I did at the time of writing and, maybe wrongly, I don’t always write when that change happens.

I am going to quickly go back on one thing I wrote recently and this is going to be the very last time because I feel it is important because of recent events …

I do not hate James, I forgive James for his outburst of a couple of weeks ago, I do not hold grudges. I cannot yet fully trust James not to go there again but, I very much want to. Some horrible things have been said and done this past year, many will have been mentioned here. They are in the past. I would very much like them to stay there.

Damn Monday!

Today, I keep being reminded, is ‘Monday’ … actually, it is 00:52 on Tuesday morning right now but you get my meaning.

Why is that significant? Well, it is if I have things to do on Wednesday and try to do them on Tuesday because I think Monday is Tuesday making Tuesday Wednesday.

I have a sore throat, yeah, you know, it kinda hurts but pain killers seem to settle it … I ache like hell as well, that could be the results of the flu jab Saturday …  also have an ear infection, I really should get that sorted … watch this space, I shall forget all week and remember at the weekend! Earlier, I bent over to sort out the dishwasher and puked, this is not good.

his blog has seen the last negative entry regarding James … I think Ihave been using this space to defend myself against untruths which have been shared but, in reality, it is now pissing me off all this tit for tat sort of stuff. Fom now on I am going to presume that people know me well enough to know the truth and, if not, to afford me the courtesy of asking. I figure, if a person can’t be arsed to ask then they probably either have little interest or they wouldn’t want to hear anyway so, either way, what is written here is either gonna be thrown back at me or seem somewhat pointless.

As it happens, I want a situation develop where I can just be dad and granddad, where I don’t get stuck in the middle taking the blame for being the messenger. With that in mind, I am taking a step back. I will help, advise or otherwise if asked and, I always do my best to keep everyone happy or reach a compromise. I need to concentrate more on me and Deej. Apart from our honeymoon, when I was ill, we’ve hardly spent any time together since we got married nearly 4 months ago now (believe it or not)

My last word on the matter is this … anyone who can help the situation of James, Daisy and Josh please speak to them and kindly help. Otherwise, maybe better all round if everyone just stay out of their business.

Let’s just get along, be friends … one way or another, we are family!

Now, is anyone interested, among yourselves, of taking bets on just when our car will get cleaned for the first time?

Am shattered now, off to bed … too late as usual  🙁

Damn Monday!

Today, I keep being reminded, is ‘Monday’ … actually, it is 00:52 on Tuesday morning right now but you get my meaning.

Why is that significant? Well, it is if I have things to do on Wednesday and try to do them on Tuesday because I think Monday is Tuesday making Tuesday Wednesday.

I have a sore throat, yeah, you know, it kinda hurts but pain killers seem to settle it … I ache like hell as well, that could be the results of the flu jab Saturday …  also have an ear infection, I really should get that sorted … watch this space, I shall forget all week and remember at the weekend! Earlier, I bent over to sort out the dishwasher and puked, this is not good.

his blog has seen the last negative entry regarding James … I think Ihave been using this space to defend myself against untruths which have been shared but, in reality, it is now pissing me off all this tit for tat sort of stuff. Fom now on I am going to presume that people know me well enough to know the truth and, if not, to afford me the courtesy of asking. I figure, if a person can’t be arsed to ask then they probably either have little interest or they wouldn’t want to hear anyway so, either way, what is written here is either gonna be thrown back at me or seem somewhat pointless.

As it happens, I want a situation develop where I can just be dad and granddad, where I don’t get stuck in the middle taking the blame for being the messenger. With that in mind, I am taking a step back. I will help, advise or otherwise if asked and, I always do my best to keep everyone happy or reach a compromise. I need to concentrate more on me and Deej. Apart from our honeymoon, when I was ill, we’ve hardly spent any time together since we got married nearly 4 months ago now (believe it or not)

My last word on the matter is this … anyone who can help the situation of James, Daisy and Josh please speak to them and kindly help. Otherwise, maybe better all round if everyone just stay out of their business.

Let’s just get along, be friends … one way or another, we are family!

Now, is anyone interested, among yourselves, of taking bets on just when our car will get cleaned for the first time?

Am shattered now, off to bed … too late as usual  🙁

Oh Dear ,,, oops, I did it again

Spent money!

I decided that if I am to be the maker of the family archive in the moving image sense then I need a machine which can handle the latest technology and enable me to actually edit raw footage! I mean, we got back from Florida months ago and still there is no home movie to watch … I have a backlog now of video to edit and it’s just not good enough … I know what I want to do but this machine just won’t do it … grr.

So, today I ordered my next PC and a new monitor to go with it, a bigger one so I don’t have to sit so darned close either!

That this new machine can, coincidentally play games at the highest spec possible is neither here nor there!

One slight issue, it is black and red and I just can’t see how that is going to work in here.

I think I may wanna sleep soon but, I have gotten so used to late nights I don’t quite yet feel exhausted enough to settle.

Why is it I always have this urge to play my keyboard really loud just as everyone else goes to bed? It’s not to annoy them, I just have no idea everyone else is off to bed and get this urge to fondle the black and whites.

Another sorta busy day tomorrow but, then again, not entirely as busy as it could be which just means sod all really!

Oh Dear ,,, oops, I did it again

Spent money!

I decided that if I am to be the maker of the family archive in the moving image sense then I need a machine which can handle the latest technology and enable me to actually edit raw footage! I mean, we got back from Florida months ago and still there is no home movie to watch … I have a backlog now of video to edit and it’s just not good enough … I know what I want to do but this machine just won’t do it … grr.

So, today I ordered my next PC and a new monitor to go with it, a bigger one so I don’t have to sit so darned close either!

That this new machine can, coincidentally play games at the highest spec possible is neither here nor there!

One slight issue, it is black and red and I just can’t see how that is going to work in here.

I think I may wanna sleep soon but, I have gotten so used to late nights I don’t quite yet feel exhausted enough to settle.

Why is it I always have this urge to play my keyboard really loud just as everyone else goes to bed? It’s not to annoy them, I just have no idea everyone else is off to bed and get this urge to fondle the black and whites.

Another sorta busy day tomorrow but, then again, not entirely as busy as it could be which just means sod all really!