Publicity Stunt

 

James, if you read this, read ALL of it.

I find it annoying that Josh’s birthday could be being built up as nothing more than a publicity stunt by James. I can see where it could be going … the scenario:

James makes some vague attempts to arrange something to see Josh on his birthday. If he gets to see him then there will be photo’s on Facebook with messages stating what an amazing baby he is and the implication that James is, by connection, an amazing dad, all his mates and family in Kent are happy. Or, as an alternative, Daisy and Sean have other plans for Josh’s birthday in which case, all over Facebook are messages from James saying how evil we are down here stopping a dad from seeing his son, on his birthday of all days. The result is, either way he convinces the people he knows that he is either a great dad or a victim. What has he done so far to get to see Josh? He has telephoned another family member up here to ask what is happening on Josh’s birthday. He has telephoned Daisy to speak about it, she was busy but, he said he’d call back later that day (he didn’t)

What contact has there been since he left here weeks ago? Very little. He did start sending Daisy texts where he kept referring to her as ‘babe’. I have no idea why but he even tried to twist that around to make it sound like Daisy was refusing to keep him informed on what was happening with Josh. What she actually said was, she would contact James if there was any change in Josh’s life that he needed to know about, otherwise, don’t send texts asking how he is, if he really wanted to know, arrange to see him instead.

James asked me to be a friend again on Facebook, I asked him why as he was so sure he wanted me out of his life, he never sent a reply

He sent me messages asking questions about bank details, things to do with his flat after he said he didn’t want my help, was ‘relieved’ I was no longer anything to do with him.

What is James not telling his friends and family?

Well, perhaps he could forget to tell them that,

• by the time it gets to Josh’s birthday he will have gone nearly 2 months without seeing him and with zero reason for that apart from, he can’t be bothered.
• He may forget to mention that he has had the time and the money to see him but has chosen not to.
• Maybe he’ll forget to mention, no one is stopping him seeing Josh

This all seems really familiar. This is not, and he will forget to mention this too, the first time he has walked out on his son for weeks at a time with NO good reason.

He knows that, if he told his friends the truth, many may well stop supporting him like they have, stop seeing him as the victim and, instead, start seeing him as one of those ‘bum’ fathers that are often on Jeremy Kyle in the mornings, the sort that Kyle would say to … “If you were not going to take responsibility for you son and get of your bum, get a job and maybe see him regularly, maybe you should have put something on the end of it!”

Child Support? Forget it, James won’t even give Daisy a postal address so she can get the CSA to collect money for Josh. Buying a birthday gift, if he does that any more than the non existent Christmas gift, is not supporting his son!

Yes, I am angry about this. I am angry because, whilst James is telling these people his fairytale and getting the support, others are actually being parents and bloody good parents to Josh. Other grandparents are NOT sitting on the fence but are actually talking to their kids trying to get a good resolution to this and NOT expecting teenagers to be able to work this out for themselves!

What I ‘think’ should happen is this (and I say this with hope, not demands) … James stops making excuses, remembers he AGREED to have a child and gets on with the job of parenting and NOT putting his social life first. As a parent, his needs are unimportant by comparison to his son. Everything else in his life is unimportant compared to Joshua. It is time to STOP playing word games and START being a dad before it is too late and too much time has past that he can’t recover from it.

The only very important thing here is the truth. James knows the truth. He may, by now, be starting to believe the stories he has been spreading to friends and family but he knows, not too deep down, what the reality is. The only reason he has not seen Josh is because he has chosen not to. There is no legal case, no solicitors, there can’t be. How can someone go see a solicitor asking for court action when they have never been denied access in the first place? Courts prefer voluntary adult agreements with kids, they won’t entertain court orders where there is already good access on offer. There is not a chance in hell of any court anywhere agreeing to the residency order being switched to James, that is never going to happen.

If James wants to be an active dad then he needs to be living in the same town as his son, seeing him on a regular basis, earning the right to spend those special days with him.

What right does James have to do nothing for his son week after week then turn up with a birthday present and have only the good time with his son? None at all, that should be reserved for those who actually care enough to be there for him all his life, not just when it suits them!

Does James love Josh? Yes, I am sure he does. I am sure, like most parents, he see’s Josh as an extension of himself. Is that enough to encourage James to make a change? Only he knows that. Is it right that he feels angry to another man being Josh’s dad? Yes, I suspect he has the right to hold those feelings but, even that was his own choice, he has already walked away before Sean came on the scene. Is living in the past with those resentments going to change the future or even shape it? No, it can’t change the past, that has happened. Mistakes have been made which cannot be undone. Holding on to anger and resentment can only make a negative future for Josh and James. Daisy and Sean are already a major part of Josh’s life and, they always will be. That cannot be changed. Whether James wants to join them as an equal parent or not, that’s entirely up to him.

If James ever wonders what the truth is, he should think back to all those magical times we ALL spent together as a family. There are amazing pictures of him and Sean together, of all three of them being parents together, that cannot have been an act. James, open up your eyes and heart. If you have really got God in your life then ask in a prayer, what do you have to do and listen to the teaching of the church, not your own mind. I know what the bible would teach you to do, I suspect you do too, you just don’t like it. Remember, if you are a Christian now, you can lie to your friends, you cannot lie to God because he’ll know and he will find a way of making other people know, that’s the way of things.

I hope, by writing this blog, it may annoy James enough for him to get off up and start thinking like a grown up man with a child. I hope that will be the case, I suspect he will just make up more lies about the situation to try and cover the truth contained in this message.

James, if you were ever a victim that was a very long time ago, time to stop using it as an excuse and step up to life, the life YOU created. You can, if you want, be a good dad to Josh, right now, you are a quickly fading memory. Maybe the reason you keep falling down again is, because you are not being honest, your lies are what are dragging you back down?

You don’t just have family in Kent, you have one here too.

Publicity Stunt

 

James, if you read this, read ALL of it.

I find it annoying that Josh’s birthday could be being built up as nothing more than a publicity stunt by James. I can see where it could be going … the scenario:

James makes some vague attempts to arrange something to see Josh on his birthday. If he gets to see him then there will be photo’s on Facebook with messages stating what an amazing baby he is and the implication that James is, by connection, an amazing dad, all his mates and family in Kent are happy. Or, as an alternative, Daisy and Sean have other plans for Josh’s birthday in which case, all over Facebook are messages from James saying how evil we are down here stopping a dad from seeing his son, on his birthday of all days. The result is, either way he convinces the people he knows that he is either a great dad or a victim. What has he done so far to get to see Josh? He has telephoned another family member up here to ask what is happening on Josh’s birthday. He has telephoned Daisy to speak about it, she was busy but, he said he’d call back later that day (he didn’t)

What contact has there been since he left here weeks ago? Very little. He did start sending Daisy texts where he kept referring to her as ‘babe’. I have no idea why but he even tried to twist that around to make it sound like Daisy was refusing to keep him informed on what was happening with Josh. What she actually said was, she would contact James if there was any change in Josh’s life that he needed to know about, otherwise, don’t send texts asking how he is, if he really wanted to know, arrange to see him instead.

James asked me to be a friend again on Facebook, I asked him why as he was so sure he wanted me out of his life, he never sent a reply

He sent me messages asking questions about bank details, things to do with his flat after he said he didn’t want my help, was ‘relieved’ I was no longer anything to do with him.

What is James not telling his friends and family?

Well, perhaps he could forget to tell them that,

• by the time it gets to Josh’s birthday he will have gone nearly 2 months without seeing him and with zero reason for that apart from, he can’t be bothered.
• He may forget to mention that he has had the time and the money to see him but has chosen not to.
• Maybe he’ll forget to mention, no one is stopping him seeing Josh

This all seems really familiar. This is not, and he will forget to mention this too, the first time he has walked out on his son for weeks at a time with NO good reason.

He knows that, if he told his friends the truth, many may well stop supporting him like they have, stop seeing him as the victim and, instead, start seeing him as one of those ‘bum’ fathers that are often on Jeremy Kyle in the mornings, the sort that Kyle would say to … “If you were not going to take responsibility for you son and get of your bum, get a job and maybe see him regularly, maybe you should have put something on the end of it!”

Child Support? Forget it, James won’t even give Daisy a postal address so she can get the CSA to collect money for Josh. Buying a birthday gift, if he does that any more than the non existent Christmas gift, is not supporting his son!

Yes, I am angry about this. I am angry because, whilst James is telling these people his fairytale and getting the support, others are actually being parents and bloody good parents to Josh. Other grandparents are NOT sitting on the fence but are actually talking to their kids trying to get a good resolution to this and NOT expecting teenagers to be able to work this out for themselves!

What I ‘think’ should happen is this (and I say this with hope, not demands) … James stops making excuses, remembers he AGREED to have a child and gets on with the job of parenting and NOT putting his social life first. As a parent, his needs are unimportant by comparison to his son. Everything else in his life is unimportant compared to Joshua. It is time to STOP playing word games and START being a dad before it is too late and too much time has past that he can’t recover from it.

The only very important thing here is the truth. James knows the truth. He may, by now, be starting to believe the stories he has been spreading to friends and family but he knows, not too deep down, what the reality is. The only reason he has not seen Josh is because he has chosen not to. There is no legal case, no solicitors, there can’t be. How can someone go see a solicitor asking for court action when they have never been denied access in the first place? Courts prefer voluntary adult agreements with kids, they won’t entertain court orders where there is already good access on offer. There is not a chance in hell of any court anywhere agreeing to the residency order being switched to James, that is never going to happen.

If James wants to be an active dad then he needs to be living in the same town as his son, seeing him on a regular basis, earning the right to spend those special days with him.

What right does James have to do nothing for his son week after week then turn up with a birthday present and have only the good time with his son? None at all, that should be reserved for those who actually care enough to be there for him all his life, not just when it suits them!

Does James love Josh? Yes, I am sure he does. I am sure, like most parents, he see’s Josh as an extension of himself. Is that enough to encourage James to make a change? Only he knows that. Is it right that he feels angry to another man being Josh’s dad? Yes, I suspect he has the right to hold those feelings but, even that was his own choice, he has already walked away before Sean came on the scene. Is living in the past with those resentments going to change the future or even shape it? No, it can’t change the past, that has happened. Mistakes have been made which cannot be undone. Holding on to anger and resentment can only make a negative future for Josh and James. Daisy and Sean are already a major part of Josh’s life and, they always will be. That cannot be changed. Whether James wants to join them as an equal parent or not, that’s entirely up to him.

If James ever wonders what the truth is, he should think back to all those magical times we ALL spent together as a family. There are amazing pictures of him and Sean together, of all three of them being parents together, that cannot have been an act. James, open up your eyes and heart. If you have really got God in your life then ask in a prayer, what do you have to do and listen to the teaching of the church, not your own mind. I know what the bible would teach you to do, I suspect you do too, you just don’t like it. Remember, if you are a Christian now, you can lie to your friends, you cannot lie to God because he’ll know and he will find a way of making other people know, that’s the way of things.

I hope, by writing this blog, it may annoy James enough for him to get off up and start thinking like a grown up man with a child. I hope that will be the case, I suspect he will just make up more lies about the situation to try and cover the truth contained in this message.

James, if you were ever a victim that was a very long time ago, time to stop using it as an excuse and step up to life, the life YOU created. You can, if you want, be a good dad to Josh, right now, you are a quickly fading memory. Maybe the reason you keep falling down again is, because you are not being honest, your lies are what are dragging you back down?

You don’t just have family in Kent, you have one here too.

Sadly, the kitten never made it

It felt quite weak when I was there the other day and I’d have been shocked if it had made it but I hoped. Sadly, it wasn’t to be  🙁

Huge thanks to Pete  & Emily for thinking about us

x

Sadly, the kitten never made it

It felt quite weak when I was there the other day and I’d have been shocked if it had made it but I hoped. Sadly, it wasn’t to be  🙁

Huge thanks to Pete  & Emily for thinking about us

x

Introduction

Quite a few people get my blog sent in an email anyway but, for any who have just recently joined I use this for a few different reasons. I can get things out of my system here that are spinning around in my head. That means, sometimes I write things I’d not always say. Try never to take it personally.

Sometimes I choose to be creative, so, don’t expect too much of that!

Mostly it is ponderings, random thoughts I’d like to share with someone but, no one around me is up to the task of communicating with me so, effectively, I am talking it through with myself (lock me up now)

Quite a lot I am just touching base with friends, letting them know the current state of play at this mad house!

Enjoy!

Introduction

Quite a few people get my blog sent in an email anyway but, for any who have just recently joined I use this for a few different reasons. I can get things out of my system here that are spinning around in my head. That means, sometimes I write things I’d not always say. Try never to take it personally.

Sometimes I choose to be creative, so, don’t expect too much of that!

Mostly it is ponderings, random thoughts I’d like to share with someone but, no one around me is up to the task of communicating with me so, effectively, I am talking it through with myself (lock me up now)

Quite a lot I am just touching base with friends, letting them know the current state of play at this mad house!

Enjoy!

Can Someone be helped to change?

One of the things I do in life is to try and help people have better lives. Not change them in a way they don’t want to change but to help them change to be the person they tell me they want to be.

The trouble with this is … I am wondering if it is actually possible to change everyone who asks me for help? I invest a lot of emotion and energy into helping but, quite often, that investment doesn’t pay off. The person slips back into the way they used to be and are no more happy than they were when they first came to me for help.

Am I, in effect, just not up to the job? Do I need to accept that for every success story, and there are many, that there will be significant failures?

With many that I help, the pattern is as follows … they approach me almost from nowhere, I help them and, with their issues sorted and on the right path, they disappear again. I just have to be happy that I have managed to make a difference. I don’t get anything more from the experience. This has been the case from simply giving someone a lift to saving lives, my count for the latter is at least 2 so far, possibly more. Sometimes though, my successes hang around, just not very often. The worst aspect is when my failures also hang around. It hurts every day to have them screw up over and over again rather than to take the simpler approach of taking the right path. It is for those people that I started this posting. Is there a point to which we get with a person after which nothing we do or say shall make a difference? They are so stuck on their destructive path that there is no going back? I need to hear that it is possible to save someone in such a mess. Right now, I don’t have the answer.

Can Someone be helped to change?

One of the things I do in life is to try and help people have better lives. Not change them in a way they don’t want to change but to help them change to be the person they tell me they want to be.

The trouble with this is … I am wondering if it is actually possible to change everyone who asks me for help? I invest a lot of emotion and energy into helping but, quite often, that investment doesn’t pay off. The person slips back into the way they used to be and are no more happy than they were when they first came to me for help.

Am I, in effect, just not up to the job? Do I need to accept that for every success story, and there are many, that there will be significant failures?

With many that I help, the pattern is as follows … they approach me almost from nowhere, I help them and, with their issues sorted and on the right path, they disappear again. I just have to be happy that I have managed to make a difference. I don’t get anything more from the experience. This has been the case from simply giving someone a lift to saving lives, my count for the latter is at least 2 so far, possibly more. Sometimes though, my successes hang around, just not very often. The worst aspect is when my failures also hang around. It hurts every day to have them screw up over and over again rather than to take the simpler approach of taking the right path. It is for those people that I started this posting. Is there a point to which we get with a person after which nothing we do or say shall make a difference? They are so stuck on their destructive path that there is no going back? I need to hear that it is possible to save someone in such a mess. Right now, I don’t have the answer.

Josh

Just in case anyone reads this who doesn’t fully understand the situation.

Only Daisy is in charge of what does and doesn’t happen with Josh. She has residency and she is the parent here with parental responsibility. I am only the granddad. I am very proud of that title but I do not have any choice over any decisions Daisy makes with regard to Josh and neither does anyone else in the family.

I can certainly give my opinion to anyone, if asked, but that’s as far as it goes. I am not and don’t want to be in a position where I have to tell anyone what they should or will do. I very much like being a grandparent. I have done the dad thing.

If I can suggest anything it is this, can all issues relating to parenting be relayed to parents. Any non parenting things, I am happy to talk about. Anyone wants to contact me to have a moan, to talk to someone else, pass a message on, don’t go there!

Obviously this would be mainly directed at James but, it equally applies to anyone else thinking wrongly at the moment because it isn’t just James!

Josh

Just in case anyone reads this who doesn’t fully understand the situation.

Only Daisy is in charge of what does and doesn’t happen with Josh. She has residency and she is the parent here with parental responsibility. I am only the granddad. I am very proud of that title but I do not have any choice over any decisions Daisy makes with regard to Josh and neither does anyone else in the family.

I can certainly give my opinion to anyone, if asked, but that’s as far as it goes. I am not and don’t want to be in a position where I have to tell anyone what they should or will do. I very much like being a grandparent. I have done the dad thing.

If I can suggest anything it is this, can all issues relating to parenting be relayed to parents. Any non parenting things, I am happy to talk about. Anyone wants to contact me to have a moan, to talk to someone else, pass a message on, don’t go there!

Obviously this would be mainly directed at James but, it equally applies to anyone else thinking wrongly at the moment because it isn’t just James!

Avatar 3D Special Edition

I never got to see the 3D version on the first run so was really happy to go see it this time around. It really was worth the wait. To be honest, I didn’t notice that many new scenes, maybe that is because they were not ‘new’ at all but rather removed from the original edit but were always meant to be there and, as such, just ‘fit’

Someone tried to call me earlier, I couldn’t answer as I was driving but it just seemed odd they’d call out of the blue and not leave a message. I can’t imagine it was to say anything nice, it has not been that for quite some time now.

A reasonably quiet evening in tonight and, hopefully, a lay in tomorrow but then, I have said that before!

Avatar 3D Special Edition

I never got to see the 3D version on the first run so was really happy to go see it this time around. It really was worth the wait. To be honest, I didn’t notice that many new scenes, maybe that is because they were not ‘new’ at all but rather removed from the original edit but were always meant to be there and, as such, just ‘fit’

Someone tried to call me earlier, I couldn’t answer as I was driving but it just seemed odd they’d call out of the blue and not leave a message. I can’t imagine it was to say anything nice, it has not been that for quite some time now.

A reasonably quiet evening in tonight and, hopefully, a lay in tomorrow but then, I have said that before!

Volunteering

I took on a tiny little project to create a website, provide a window on the interweb, that was all it was going to be, a little site, a bit of fun … NOW, it’s thehub of the place, I am working quite a lot nearly every day. I don’t mind, to an extend, I enjoy it but, at the same time, I don’t know where I am going with it. As a job it would be quite highly paid, as a volunteer position, it looks OK on a CV but, I am fast approaching 50, just how good is my CV going to be?

Volunteering

I took on a tiny little project to create a website, provide a window on the interweb, that was all it was going to be, a little site, a bit of fun … NOW, it’s thehub of the place, I am working quite a lot nearly every day. I don’t mind, to an extend, I enjoy it but, at the same time, I don’t know where I am going with it. As a job it would be quite highly paid, as a volunteer position, it looks OK on a CV but, I am fast approaching 50, just how good is my CV going to be?

Grr … flippin’ computer

I guess it’s been dropping me hints for months but, finally, one of my back up discs has failed. It’s all well and good having loads of space but then I have to go get sensible and duplicate all my user files so, if a drive dies, I am in panic mode in case another one goes and I start to lose data … not good!

Grr … flippin’ computer

I guess it’s been dropping me hints for months but, finally, one of my back up discs has failed. It’s all well and good having loads of space but then I have to go get sensible and duplicate all my user files so, if a drive dies, I am in panic mode in case another one goes and I start to lose data … not good!

Josh Walking

If anyone wants to see a short clip of Josh walking, join me on Facebook or on Youtube!

Facebook

YouTube

Josh Walking

If anyone wants to see a short clip of Josh walking, join me on Facebook or on Youtube!

Facebook

YouTube

Another milestone!

Josh has started walking now! Just a few steps but he’s got the idea so there is no going back. He has been standing on his own for some time and loves doing that so I reckon he’ll be running by Christmas!

Now the hard work really starts for Sean and Daisy, daddy and mummy are going to have to be thinking baby all the time now! Oh how I love being a grandparent!

Our little Imogen loves her bourbon biscuits! She makes a right mess, it’s wonderful to be a baby.

Another milestone!

Josh has started walking now! Just a few steps but he’s got the idea so there is no going back. He has been standing on his own for some time and loves doing that so I reckon he’ll be running by Christmas!

Now the hard work really starts for Sean and Daisy, daddy and mummy are going to have to be thinking baby all the time now! Oh how I love being a grandparent!

Our little Imogen loves her bourbon biscuits! She makes a right mess, it’s wonderful to be a baby.

What no one ever said to me …

I remember my maths teacher telling me how long I had left at school and to do maths, he said if we didn’t worry about sleeping that in a little over a few days we’d be finished and, it seemed to me, that school would never end. I can grab that feeling now as though nothing new would ever happen in my life and always I’d be just a school kid.

Well, that was a while back now, the late 70’s and, yes, we were in colour back then! I laugh because even years after leaving it was still obvious I’d not yet earned my adult wings, that didn’t happen until I was early 20’s when the world seemed to finally accept I qualified as an equal!

Take my advice though, it doesn’t matter what you do in life just as long as you are always true to yourself. Don’t try to be what others want or what you think they expect, be the best you can be for you. If you can possibly avoid it, never forget being a kid is fun. I don’t mean a teen getting pissed etc, I mean, a genuine innocent kid who just knows how to have fun. Enjoy life and try to remember every bit of it, good or bad, it is what makes you who you are.

What no one ever said to me …

I remember my maths teacher telling me how long I had left at school and to do maths, he said if we didn’t worry about sleeping that in a little over a few days we’d be finished and, it seemed to me, that school would never end. I can grab that feeling now as though nothing new would ever happen in my life and always I’d be just a school kid.

Well, that was a while back now, the late 70’s and, yes, we were in colour back then! I laugh because even years after leaving it was still obvious I’d not yet earned my adult wings, that didn’t happen until I was early 20’s when the world seemed to finally accept I qualified as an equal!

Take my advice though, it doesn’t matter what you do in life just as long as you are always true to yourself. Don’t try to be what others want or what you think they expect, be the best you can be for you. If you can possibly avoid it, never forget being a kid is fun. I don’t mean a teen getting pissed etc, I mean, a genuine innocent kid who just knows how to have fun. Enjoy life and try to remember every bit of it, good or bad, it is what makes you who you are.

Religion

Why are there two types of Christians? The ones I would trust with my life because I know they follow the meaning of the bible and the other bunch of liars and cheats who put all their wrong doing down to the will of God? Cannot church’s filter the fake Christians out or, are the church’s they go to just the same? I really just don’t know and it is what is totally turning me off religion.

I just seem to have too much experience of the latter and the harm they do to others in the name of God who seems to be able to forgive them for all sort of horrible things. The former I love to pieces. I can spend my life around their love and peace, it is my shared view of religion. The technicalities of what is meant to have happened 2000 years ago or not, it is that ‘they’ understand the point of it. It is not so that the words can be taking out of context or too literally or interpreted to mean something else, it is that this thing was meant to have happened and with many selfless acts people’s lives were made better.

How can someone throw love and respect back at someone with lies and then, in the same text claim to have found God? I’d argue they have found nothing, they have just given up on the closest they got to it. When the fake Christians ignore how good a person is simply because of their sexuality. How they can reject someone not because of who they are but where they live. It is as though, because they go to church on a Sunday, this somehow takes away all their guilt and makes them superior. Because they ‘do’ God that somehow they have the approval of God. Well, were I God I know which group I’d choose. I would so not support people who treated others badly or who sanctioned wrong doing in my name, they would be cast very far away from me. Those people are a public relations nightmare. How can someone claim to understand the ways of God and then disconnect themselves from part of their own family because their relative doesn’t share their views?

Let’s look at Josh’s dad as an example … He has been shown nothing but love from me and support way beyond his deserving of it from this family. The entire time he has lied. He has told people untruths for his own ego and vanity. He has publicly denounced me and us with very harsh words that are simply more lies. He has rejected the blood relatives of his son because he has chosen God! The family he belongs to are not much better. They seem to have allowed all this to happen because somehow, God must have his reasons. All Josh’s dad has to do is say he embraces God and Jesus and all is forgiven, he becomes a good person!

Well, that isn’t right and it isn’t Christian by any way I recognise Christian. True Christians don’t do that. If they did wrong I am sure they would be devastated until things had been put right. It is all about being selfless and self sacrifice. Ego and selfishness has no part in Christianity surely?

The bible cannot be read literally. If it were it would make no sense. The only way it makes sense is if one takes away from it the recurring theme of love, respect and understanding. Knowing those things and, more important, living them, is what makes a true Christian and, I only wish I was not so anti organised religion that I could join them. Too many times bitten.

Religion

Why are there two types of Christians? The ones I would trust with my life because I know they follow the meaning of the bible and the other bunch of liars and cheats who put all their wrong doing down to the will of God? Cannot church’s filter the fake Christians out or, are the church’s they go to just the same? I really just don’t know and it is what is totally turning me off religion.

I just seem to have too much experience of the latter and the harm they do to others in the name of God who seems to be able to forgive them for all sort of horrible things. The former I love to pieces. I can spend my life around their love and peace, it is my shared view of religion. The technicalities of what is meant to have happened 2000 years ago or not, it is that ‘they’ understand the point of it. It is not so that the words can be taking out of context or too literally or interpreted to mean something else, it is that this thing was meant to have happened and with many selfless acts people’s lives were made better.

How can someone throw love and respect back at someone with lies and then, in the same text claim to have found God? I’d argue they have found nothing, they have just given up on the closest they got to it. When the fake Christians ignore how good a person is simply because of their sexuality. How they can reject someone not because of who they are but where they live. It is as though, because they go to church on a Sunday, this somehow takes away all their guilt and makes them superior. Because they ‘do’ God that somehow they have the approval of God. Well, were I God I know which group I’d choose. I would so not support people who treated others badly or who sanctioned wrong doing in my name, they would be cast very far away from me. Those people are a public relations nightmare. How can someone claim to understand the ways of God and then disconnect themselves from part of their own family because their relative doesn’t share their views?

Let’s look at Josh’s dad as an example … He has been shown nothing but love from me and support way beyond his deserving of it from this family. The entire time he has lied. He has told people untruths for his own ego and vanity. He has publicly denounced me and us with very harsh words that are simply more lies. He has rejected the blood relatives of his son because he has chosen God! The family he belongs to are not much better. They seem to have allowed all this to happen because somehow, God must have his reasons. All Josh’s dad has to do is say he embraces God and Jesus and all is forgiven, he becomes a good person!

Well, that isn’t right and it isn’t Christian by any way I recognise Christian. True Christians don’t do that. If they did wrong I am sure they would be devastated until things had been put right. It is all about being selfless and self sacrifice. Ego and selfishness has no part in Christianity surely?

The bible cannot be read literally. If it were it would make no sense. The only way it makes sense is if one takes away from it the recurring theme of love, respect and understanding. Knowing those things and, more important, living them, is what makes a true Christian and, I only wish I was not so anti organised religion that I could join them. Too many times bitten.

Liars

I totally despise lies and, by definition, liars.

Just recently someone posted a very public outburst against me and my family, just about everything that person quoted as ‘fact’ could absolutely be countered with photographic or video evidence. What this means is, either they lied in their statement or, over a period of very many months they continually lied and most convincingly too. There was a statement of how one particular person had been hated for over a year and, yet, in a video not very long ago, that same person was stated in front of witnesses on video to be amazing and all manner of wonderful things.

I feel terribly sorry for that person, they just spend their life running from one set of bad lies to another, it is amazing they would find anyone who believed a single word they said any more. This person feeds of others, plays with their emotions, saps them for whatever they can get and then, before they take any form of responsibility, they run away and on to the next person who satisfies their need.

There can be no respect for habitual liars regardless of what they think their motives are. They are amongst the lowest of the low, the scum of the population. With each and every relationship based on the bedrock of trust, how long can it be before each person touched by the liar finally concedes they shall never know the truth and the current ‘reality’ is simply not worth taking a chance on?

People are around me who have had a tough life and retain their integrity, who don’t manipulate and lie, who still strive to do the best by others and who value friendship. Isn’t it just amazing how liars claim to be the victim when nothing could be further from the truth?

I have some sympathy, some feeling for this person still, that is because I am agnostic. I don’t follow organised religion but I believe firmly in right from wrong, in that there is good in everyone. I don’t wish harm to come to this person but, that said, for my own sanity and because I have already given too much of myself to them, they are out of my life, I want nothing further to do with them in any way. After the string of continued lies, nothing they can say or do shall be believable to me.

Right, I needed to get that off my chest, that episode is over, time to move on, there are still a great many people out there in real need who need me and that is where my energy goes now.

Liars

I totally despise lies and, by definition, liars.

Just recently someone posted a very public outburst against me and my family, just about everything that person quoted as ‘fact’ could absolutely be countered with photographic or video evidence. What this means is, either they lied in their statement or, over a period of very many months they continually lied and most convincingly too. There was a statement of how one particular person had been hated for over a year and, yet, in a video not very long ago, that same person was stated in front of witnesses on video to be amazing and all manner of wonderful things.

I feel terribly sorry for that person, they just spend their life running from one set of bad lies to another, it is amazing they would find anyone who believed a single word they said any more. This person feeds of others, plays with their emotions, saps them for whatever they can get and then, before they take any form of responsibility, they run away and on to the next person who satisfies their need.

There can be no respect for habitual liars regardless of what they think their motives are. They are amongst the lowest of the low, the scum of the population. With each and every relationship based on the bedrock of trust, how long can it be before each person touched by the liar finally concedes they shall never know the truth and the current ‘reality’ is simply not worth taking a chance on?

People are around me who have had a tough life and retain their integrity, who don’t manipulate and lie, who still strive to do the best by others and who value friendship. Isn’t it just amazing how liars claim to be the victim when nothing could be further from the truth?

I have some sympathy, some feeling for this person still, that is because I am agnostic. I don’t follow organised religion but I believe firmly in right from wrong, in that there is good in everyone. I don’t wish harm to come to this person but, that said, for my own sanity and because I have already given too much of myself to them, they are out of my life, I want nothing further to do with them in any way. After the string of continued lies, nothing they can say or do shall be believable to me.

Right, I needed to get that off my chest, that episode is over, time to move on, there are still a great many people out there in real need who need me and that is where my energy goes now.

Phew!

Finally … it took time but, finally not my problem. I hope ‘God’ has better luck … only a matter of time before he’s called a dick head as well I suspect!

Phew!

Finally … it took time but, finally not my problem. I hope ‘God’ has better luck … only a matter of time before he’s called a dick head as well I suspect!

I just watched …

The movie I made in 2004 for my USA trip. Boy I could do with a break like that now. Yes, there were lonely times with no one around on the Florida part but to be able to be totally selfish and get to know me for just a short while, I needed that then as I need it now. I feel emotionally exhausted and, even saying that, I feel guilty!

I do love being me but, it comes with a price tag and I don’t mean the money!

I just watched …

The movie I made in 2004 for my USA trip. Boy I could do with a break like that now. Yes, there were lonely times with no one around on the Florida part but to be able to be totally selfish and get to know me for just a short while, I needed that then as I need it now. I feel emotionally exhausted and, even saying that, I feel guilty!

I do love being me but, it comes with a price tag and I don’t mean the money!

Finally, some good news!

I am starting to get repaid the thousands of pounds I am owed so I can stop panicking about paying my bills!

Am nervous about tomorrow though, I have an important meeting and I have no agenda for it so I have had to prepare for several possibilities!

A lovely Shepherds Pie to eat tonight.

Randomly chucked in here but, I miss my mum and I miss Tony.

Finally, some good news!

I am starting to get repaid the thousands of pounds I am owed so I can stop panicking about paying my bills!

Am nervous about tomorrow though, I have an important meeting and I have no agenda for it so I have had to prepare for several possibilities!

A lovely Shepherds Pie to eat tonight.

Randomly chucked in here but, I miss my mum and I miss Tony.

Just came up with a quote …

Probably been done already:

I feel like the Berlin wall, everyone wants a piece of me and I am always being knocked down!

Maybe this is why people tell me I am a brick!

Just came up with a quote …

Probably been done already:

I feel like the Berlin wall, everyone wants a piece of me and I am always being knocked down!

Maybe this is why people tell me I am a brick!

Grrr

I did have a lovely day in Southend today. It was great to be out with the family and see Josh’s face trying new things. It was marred by some texts from someone having a go at me for something, actually, that really hurt more than I think they have any comprehension.

Later, I also found out that someone had lied to me big time, the sort of lie which changes the entire meaning of everything I thought was true and worth working for. I am not going into details here, not the right place and no one else’s business but, I know and that person will know, that’s good enough for me.

I have managed to find someone keen enough to take over as Zoey’s personal assistant, very pleased to have found someone so quickly and I so hope they will rise to the challenge and make a real go of it. I think it will be good for him and for Zoey.

Now I have to plan the my brain around Javis not being part of our lives, I am not sure how long it is going to take to get used to that concept? Javis has been part of my life now for 2 years, his not being around is going to seem very weird indeed. I may never know his reasons for leaving but, I am told, it was always going to happen. One of those situations where everyone else can see it coming except stupid blinkered old me. I have to stop getting so attached to people.

Looking forward to Disney in November, we’ve been saving really hard for it, all of us and I am sure it’ll be amazing. May also be going along with Robin over to France in October, looking forward to finding out what he wants to do.

Am also really looking forward to Gran Canaria next year. If I can save enough Tesco vouchers they will be for the entire cost of the holiday leaving us lot just to find the spending money.

Some events to look forward to this month and next, should be good … if I can just cheer myself up!

On another downer, I finished the amazing bottle of Jack Daniels which Robin bought me for my birthday last night  🙁

Grrr

I did have a lovely day in Southend today. It was great to be out with the family and see Josh’s face trying new things. It was marred by some texts from someone having a go at me for something, actually, that really hurt more than I think they have any comprehension.

Later, I also found out that someone had lied to me big time, the sort of lie which changes the entire meaning of everything I thought was true and worth working for. I am not going into details here, not the right place and no one else’s business but, I know and that person will know, that’s good enough for me.

I have managed to find someone keen enough to take over as Zoey’s personal assistant, very pleased to have found someone so quickly and I so hope they will rise to the challenge and make a real go of it. I think it will be good for him and for Zoey.

Now I have to plan the my brain around Javis not being part of our lives, I am not sure how long it is going to take to get used to that concept? Javis has been part of my life now for 2 years, his not being around is going to seem very weird indeed. I may never know his reasons for leaving but, I am told, it was always going to happen. One of those situations where everyone else can see it coming except stupid blinkered old me. I have to stop getting so attached to people.

Looking forward to Disney in November, we’ve been saving really hard for it, all of us and I am sure it’ll be amazing. May also be going along with Robin over to France in October, looking forward to finding out what he wants to do.

Am also really looking forward to Gran Canaria next year. If I can save enough Tesco vouchers they will be for the entire cost of the holiday leaving us lot just to find the spending money.

Some events to look forward to this month and next, should be good … if I can just cheer myself up!

On another downer, I finished the amazing bottle of Jack Daniels which Robin bought me for my birthday last night  🙁

Too much ‘stuff’ going on!

First, actually, no particular order …

I hurt, my joints ache, I feel stupid and frustrated by it.

My emotions are all over the place. Just when I think I have a grip on something and life is sorted, another wave of issues starts. That’s really frustrating and exhausting, even nice things are becoming too stressful. The uncertainties if life in connection with those around me right now is driving me nuts. I need to be able to trust all the people in my life and I simply can’t. Because I can’t I am stuck, I have never been able to be with liars, help them or like them. I feel it as low as it is possible to go to lie to someone we say we care for. It’s too many people and grrrr!

I don’t like what this government are doing. I feel that we are heading almost down the Hitler route. The government seems intent on ‘blaming’ parts of society, and those least connected to themselves, for the current state of the country. It is putting pressure on me as my future is looking very uncertain through no fault of my own. I don’t like it and it is not fair.

My hearing aids whistling nearly all the time is totally pissing me off. I don’t seem to be able to see properly a lot of the time either and I have had warning migraine’s way too frequently and a whole loads of grey hairs.

I want to sleep and stay sleeping so I can avoid dealing with anyone other then me for a while, that’s just impossible

Too much ‘stuff’ going on!

First, actually, no particular order …

I hurt, my joints ache, I feel stupid and frustrated by it.

My emotions are all over the place. Just when I think I have a grip on something and life is sorted, another wave of issues starts. That’s really frustrating and exhausting, even nice things are becoming too stressful. The uncertainties if life in connection with those around me right now is driving me nuts. I need to be able to trust all the people in my life and I simply can’t. Because I can’t I am stuck, I have never been able to be with liars, help them or like them. I feel it as low as it is possible to go to lie to someone we say we care for. It’s too many people and grrrr!

I don’t like what this government are doing. I feel that we are heading almost down the Hitler route. The government seems intent on ‘blaming’ parts of society, and those least connected to themselves, for the current state of the country. It is putting pressure on me as my future is looking very uncertain through no fault of my own. I don’t like it and it is not fair.

My hearing aids whistling nearly all the time is totally pissing me off. I don’t seem to be able to see properly a lot of the time either and I have had warning migraine’s way too frequently and a whole loads of grey hairs.

I want to sleep and stay sleeping so I can avoid dealing with anyone other then me for a while, that’s just impossible