What a friggin’ crap week!

Just when I start thinking everything in my world is going to amazingly well, it starts to crumble!

This time with Javis I was so sure it was going to work but, once again, it’s all collapsed, he’s gone. This is not the place to tell the story other than to say, I am really very sad about it and that, just lately, the levels of stress have made me ill. If I could wind back time, know what caused the problem and stop it, I would. Sadly, I didn’t see it coming and, by the time I tried to sort it, things had already gone too far. I said to him I didn’t want him as part of this family if he left, it was a bluff to get him to stay, it backfired and now he believes it, it’s my only regret that he still believes it. Maybe, one day in the future, things will sort themselves out. I get he won’t ever live in the same place again, I get that he has his own life but that doesn’t write off every possibility.

Annoyingly, I am still very not well. I am eating again which is good but, my body is not right. Today I was reminded of some good relaxing techniques so shall use them before going to bed and see what happens.

Am really pleased that Adam is finally working with Zoey, I’ve wanted him to do it from the start but he’s never been available. It was totally awesome earlier being driven around in the car and dropped off at Matt & Anne’s, I could get used to this!

Looking forward to my Friday massage session. The current dizziness is clearly linked to my neck somehow.

Looking forward to Florida with Robin, this time I really need a break from UK stress. If I could take along all those I loved then, all the better. I can only hope they know they go with me in my heart and, if I win the lottery in the meantime, I hope you lot are ready to spend a lot of time out the country!

Found out why my phone seemed to have a lot of space taken up … HTC seem to like to place their 150mb synch software for the PC on the phone!

I really have a lot of video editing to do. I think I will concentrate on the work video first and then the Florida holiday with Javis. Things may be shit now but, at that time they were good and I want to do the memory proud, I hate any idea of messing with good memories, if they were good at the time then they should stay that way.

Am really glad that this time around we seem to have kept a really strong link with Josh’s extended family, little fella deserves to remain close to all his family if they want to be close to him.

Planning a holiday with Zoey next year, she seems to want to drive down to Spain and stay in Salou! Well, that restricts us to only a max of 5 people so, me, Adam, Zoey, Deej and maybe, A N Other if they can pay their way … at least the driving will be easier this time around with two drivers … unless motability say Adam can’t be insured for Europe, in which case, sort of fooks the whole idea. Would be good to go back there though. Thinking some time in June so, if you want to be the A N Other, see if you can be free then and can afford it. (Have no clue yet how much BTW or even if it is possible)

Really excited about Danny making an appearance soon but, all the more excited about having all the grandchildren around for Christmas … I just don’t have enough arms!

Sod it, even my hands are starting to hurt now, maybe some pain killers and bed then

What a friggin’ crap week!

Just when I start thinking everything in my world is going to amazingly well, it starts to crumble!

This time with Javis I was so sure it was going to work but, once again, it’s all collapsed, he’s gone. This is not the place to tell the story other than to say, I am really very sad about it and that, just lately, the levels of stress have made me ill. If I could wind back time, know what caused the problem and stop it, I would. Sadly, I didn’t see it coming and, by the time I tried to sort it, things had already gone too far. I said to him I didn’t want him as part of this family if he left, it was a bluff to get him to stay, it backfired and now he believes it, it’s my only regret that he still believes it. Maybe, one day in the future, things will sort themselves out. I get he won’t ever live in the same place again, I get that he has his own life but that doesn’t write off every possibility.

Annoyingly, I am still very not well. I am eating again which is good but, my body is not right. Today I was reminded of some good relaxing techniques so shall use them before going to bed and see what happens.

Am really pleased that Adam is finally working with Zoey, I’ve wanted him to do it from the start but he’s never been available. It was totally awesome earlier being driven around in the car and dropped off at Matt & Anne’s, I could get used to this!

Looking forward to my Friday massage session. The current dizziness is clearly linked to my neck somehow.

Looking forward to Florida with Robin, this time I really need a break from UK stress. If I could take along all those I loved then, all the better. I can only hope they know they go with me in my heart and, if I win the lottery in the meantime, I hope you lot are ready to spend a lot of time out the country!

Found out why my phone seemed to have a lot of space taken up … HTC seem to like to place their 150mb synch software for the PC on the phone!

I really have a lot of video editing to do. I think I will concentrate on the work video first and then the Florida holiday with Javis. Things may be shit now but, at that time they were good and I want to do the memory proud, I hate any idea of messing with good memories, if they were good at the time then they should stay that way.

Am really glad that this time around we seem to have kept a really strong link with Josh’s extended family, little fella deserves to remain close to all his family if they want to be close to him.

Planning a holiday with Zoey next year, she seems to want to drive down to Spain and stay in Salou! Well, that restricts us to only a max of 5 people so, me, Adam, Zoey, Deej and maybe, A N Other if they can pay their way … at least the driving will be easier this time around with two drivers … unless motability say Adam can’t be insured for Europe, in which case, sort of fooks the whole idea. Would be good to go back there though. Thinking some time in June so, if you want to be the A N Other, see if you can be free then and can afford it. (Have no clue yet how much BTW or even if it is possible)

Really excited about Danny making an appearance soon but, all the more excited about having all the grandchildren around for Christmas … I just don’t have enough arms!

Sod it, even my hands are starting to hurt now, maybe some pain killers and bed then

Been a busy week …

Where I feel I have achieved what I like to achieve, helping others relax, enjoy life and feel loved
Annoyingly, this damn body and brain of mine are objecting and I feel totally exhausted and need of some TLC and thinking, 28th Oct feels like too long to wait for that relaxing massage!
Have some unfinished things here to do (un-started in some cases) and I am setting Monday aside for those so, please no one think of booking me on that day. Tomorrow, Saturday, is my relax and recover day, again, sorry but I am off limits for lifts and running about all day.
Need to get some plans fleshed out, see what I can settle on for next year. Need all those involved in the Halloween party to talk to each other and decide who is doing and proving what.
Am loving life if I can just stay awake long enough  

Been a busy week …

Where I feel I have achieved what I like to achieve, helping others relax, enjoy life and feel loved
Annoyingly, this damn body and brain of mine are objecting and I feel totally exhausted and need of some TLC and thinking, 28th Oct feels like too long to wait for that relaxing massage!
Have some unfinished things here to do (un-started in some cases) and I am setting Monday aside for those so, please no one think of booking me on that day. Tomorrow, Saturday, is my relax and recover day, again, sorry but I am off limits for lifts and running about all day.
Need to get some plans fleshed out, see what I can settle on for next year. Need all those involved in the Halloween party to talk to each other and decide who is doing and proving what.
Am loving life if I can just stay awake long enough  

Did I mention?

The totally awesome decorating done by mainly Daisy & Sean but with significant help from Deej, Chris and Jess? Not to mention, (but I did) the amount of support from Clare (and I think I spent that wrong).

Still looking forward to Florida with Robin and excellent to see him so excited despite his best efforts!

Really looking forward to the birth of Daniel (Danny) and Grace. I know it may seem weird to some that I consider Grace to be my granddaughter considering there is no blood between us but, I cannot consider Javis to be my son without thinking of all his children (it’s OK to stop now Javis) as my grandchildren. That doesn’t lessen my feelings towards my biological offspring, I have plenty of love and energy to go around at the moment … I never have and still don’t do favourites.

Have decided what I want for Christmas, never done that before, quite a unique experience for me and yes, I’d love the Sebring but, let’s get real here!

Did I mention?

The totally awesome decorating done by mainly Daisy & Sean but with significant help from Deej, Chris and Jess? Not to mention, (but I did) the amount of support from Clare (and I think I spent that wrong).

Still looking forward to Florida with Robin and excellent to see him so excited despite his best efforts!

Really looking forward to the birth of Daniel (Danny) and Grace. I know it may seem weird to some that I consider Grace to be my granddaughter considering there is no blood between us but, I cannot consider Javis to be my son without thinking of all his children (it’s OK to stop now Javis) as my grandchildren. That doesn’t lessen my feelings towards my biological offspring, I have plenty of love and energy to go around at the moment … I never have and still don’t do favourites.

Have decided what I want for Christmas, never done that before, quite a unique experience for me and yes, I’d love the Sebring but, let’s get real here!

October 2011

Awesome time in Orlando, loads of pics and video which I may eventually get time to sort out! Great to be with Javis out there, we got along most of the time and, when we didn’t, we hugged and made up and maybe learnt a little more about each other. .

Missed Deej (obviously), actually, I get really quite home sick when away but, it’s good for me to recharge now and then I think

Good listening to WJRR, a totally awesome Orlando based radio station!
Been busy booking the next one for November with Robin. Still some things to do but the vast majority is now booked and paid for.
Suffered Jet-Lag for a few days after our return which must have lowered my immune system so I got some more boils, this time under my armpit … yet more antibiotics! On the plus side, I was starting a diet anyway as I ‘fit in’ too well in the US! The antibiotics seem to lower my appetite so, win win situation albeit I feel sort of crap with the discomfort of the boils and stupidly tired much of the time!
I am probably going to kick myself if I get this wrong as I didn’t put it in my calendar but, I think Zachary was born on August 25th and he’s totally awesome! I have been a terrible granddad and not taken any pictures yet …. bad granddad 
Still waiting on Danny due November 6th and Grace due in December! I think Christmas could be busy!

  I now have an awesome new phone (not so new now) thanks to Javis, Deej has my old Windows phone which is still awesome!
Family life seems incredibly nice and normal now I think. Hardly any arguments or bickering, power games or family politics all making being a dad just that bit more enjoyable than it usually is which is actually pretty damn enjoyable if I am honest!
Immy is growing up so fast .. getting herself to the toilet now already. I remember when Daisy was like that, in a huge rush to grow up it was lovely but, here we are, grandchildren later! Josh too is coming along lovely with his talking even though ‘no’ seems to be his favourite word. He is off for a special weekend with Daddy, gonna miss them both.
Still have the September finances to do, maybe over the weekend!
Hell, there is lots I probably should have mentioned like the awesome sessions on GTA IV on Xbox with the lads, visits to Kent including, to my shame, the ones I have not made! Various meetings, work … oh there are loads of things, sorry, too knackered!

October 2011

Awesome time in Orlando, loads of pics and video which I may eventually get time to sort out! Great to be with Javis out there, we got along most of the time and, when we didn’t, we hugged and made up and maybe learnt a little more about each other. .

Missed Deej (obviously), actually, I get really quite home sick when away but, it’s good for me to recharge now and then I think

Good listening to WJRR, a totally awesome Orlando based radio station!
Been busy booking the next one for November with Robin. Still some things to do but the vast majority is now booked and paid for.
Suffered Jet-Lag for a few days after our return which must have lowered my immune system so I got some more boils, this time under my armpit … yet more antibiotics! On the plus side, I was starting a diet anyway as I ‘fit in’ too well in the US! The antibiotics seem to lower my appetite so, win win situation albeit I feel sort of crap with the discomfort of the boils and stupidly tired much of the time!
I am probably going to kick myself if I get this wrong as I didn’t put it in my calendar but, I think Zachary was born on August 25th and he’s totally awesome! I have been a terrible granddad and not taken any pictures yet …. bad granddad 
Still waiting on Danny due November 6th and Grace due in December! I think Christmas could be busy!

  I now have an awesome new phone (not so new now) thanks to Javis, Deej has my old Windows phone which is still awesome!
Family life seems incredibly nice and normal now I think. Hardly any arguments or bickering, power games or family politics all making being a dad just that bit more enjoyable than it usually is which is actually pretty damn enjoyable if I am honest!
Immy is growing up so fast .. getting herself to the toilet now already. I remember when Daisy was like that, in a huge rush to grow up it was lovely but, here we are, grandchildren later! Josh too is coming along lovely with his talking even though ‘no’ seems to be his favourite word. He is off for a special weekend with Daddy, gonna miss them both.
Still have the September finances to do, maybe over the weekend!
Hell, there is lots I probably should have mentioned like the awesome sessions on GTA IV on Xbox with the lads, visits to Kent including, to my shame, the ones I have not made! Various meetings, work … oh there are loads of things, sorry, too knackered!