Granddad Steve

Joshua Jai was born Saturday. 26th Sept at 11:55 weighing 8lbs 4oz.

Daisy started to have contractions on Thursday morning but they were not strong enough to get her ‘established’ until Saturday. We actually got caught short in Tesco and had to dash home because she couldn’t walk any more!

There were two midwives here, at home, during the birth along with myself and Sean the whole time with James around most of the time as well. Deej wandered in and out, made teas and generally worried for England along with Zoey.

Daisy was amazing. No screaming, no time wasting. She used each one of those contractions for all it had.

Joshua was born healthy with no damage done to Daisy.

James has been here loads and has turned out to be one amazing dad. Sean too has stepped up to the mark and taking his role seriously. Daisy, of course, has taken to motherhood like a duck to water. I am very proud of all three of them.

Of course, all is not perfect, some people, and they know who they are, have made virtually zero effort and yet expect to be treated as royalty … At first I thought I could make allowances and volunteer some support but, I have to accept that I have limitations and I just don’t need to take any responsibility for those people. They made their bed … and all that!

Granddad Steve

Joshua Jai was born Saturday. 26th Sept at 11:55 weighing 8lbs 4oz.

Daisy started to have contractions on Thursday morning but they were not strong enough to get her ‘established’ until Saturday. We actually got caught short in Tesco and had to dash home because she couldn’t walk any more!

There were two midwives here, at home, during the birth along with myself and Sean the whole time with James around most of the time as well. Deej wandered in and out, made teas and generally worried for England along with Zoey.

Daisy was amazing. No screaming, no time wasting. She used each one of those contractions for all it had.

Joshua was born healthy with no damage done to Daisy.

James has been here loads and has turned out to be one amazing dad. Sean too has stepped up to the mark and taking his role seriously. Daisy, of course, has taken to motherhood like a duck to water. I am very proud of all three of them.

Of course, all is not perfect, some people, and they know who they are, have made virtually zero effort and yet expect to be treated as royalty … At first I thought I could make allowances and volunteer some support but, I have to accept that I have limitations and I just don’t need to take any responsibility for those people. They made their bed … and all that!

An Early Night

I have decided to have an early night … I figure that in the US right now it is 7:20pm and that’s quite early so I am settling down for the night, US style.

Now, I have a lot of young people who have definite needs right now. Not all of them are my flesh and blood but, all the same, if no other bugger is going to be there for them then I damn well will be. The frustrating part is, at 46 I don’t have all the tools to be able to help them. My tool set is quite well stocked but I have some missing and some I don’t know how to use to the best effect.

If any of those young people are reading this, please stay with me. I will do my best, I just cannot promise it is perfection or good enough either first time or every time, sometimes we shall just have to work it out together.

There is no 4 month barrier, that’s a myth and probably just something which is self creating now.

Money problems don’t and certainly should never sort themselves out. We need to take control or our spending and stop relying on others to make up for our failings. Spending more than we have is entirely our own fault.

Point scoring achieves nothing except resentment. When there are issues, talk them through without having to be right. Enter every discussion prepared to be wrong or to say you are sorry. If I can admit to not always being right at 46 then you lot can some 20 years younger than me (30 years in some cases).

Life is too short to fuck up pointlessly. I always remember, my mum died when she was 52. I remember clearly being 5 and most certainly 16 and 20+ like it was yesterday, seriously. Yet, here I am just 6 years younger than mum was when she stopped.

You lot have 20 – 30 years before you get to my age. It seems like a lifetime, it really isn’t. You’ll have plenty of chances to screw up big time, give yourselves a break by not ever getting to a point where screwing up doesn’t matter any more. Get out of debt, no pointless arguments, don’t lie, grab the good that you have with both hands and hold on tight. One day you two will be alone in this world trying to cope, it’s bloody tough, trust me. Get it right now, open up your options, I don’t ever want to see any one of you on Jeremy Kyle!

An Early Night

I have decided to have an early night … I figure that in the US right now it is 7:20pm and that’s quite early so I am settling down for the night, US style.

Now, I have a lot of young people who have definite needs right now. Not all of them are my flesh and blood but, all the same, if no other bugger is going to be there for them then I damn well will be. The frustrating part is, at 46 I don’t have all the tools to be able to help them. My tool set is quite well stocked but I have some missing and some I don’t know how to use to the best effect.

If any of those young people are reading this, please stay with me. I will do my best, I just cannot promise it is perfection or good enough either first time or every time, sometimes we shall just have to work it out together.

There is no 4 month barrier, that’s a myth and probably just something which is self creating now.

Money problems don’t and certainly should never sort themselves out. We need to take control or our spending and stop relying on others to make up for our failings. Spending more than we have is entirely our own fault.

Point scoring achieves nothing except resentment. When there are issues, talk them through without having to be right. Enter every discussion prepared to be wrong or to say you are sorry. If I can admit to not always being right at 46 then you lot can some 20 years younger than me (30 years in some cases).

Life is too short to fuck up pointlessly. I always remember, my mum died when she was 52. I remember clearly being 5 and most certainly 16 and 20+ like it was yesterday, seriously. Yet, here I am just 6 years younger than mum was when she stopped.

You lot have 20 – 30 years before you get to my age. It seems like a lifetime, it really isn’t. You’ll have plenty of chances to screw up big time, give yourselves a break by not ever getting to a point where screwing up doesn’t matter any more. Get out of debt, no pointless arguments, don’t lie, grab the good that you have with both hands and hold on tight. One day you two will be alone in this world trying to cope, it’s bloody tough, trust me. Get it right now, open up your options, I don’t ever want to see any one of you on Jeremy Kyle!

National Identity – What is It?

There is a very real risk that this is going to come across as racist. My apologies in advance for that but I am hopeful that my need for understanding will be accepted which means I do have to question certain issues which trouble me.

At 46 maybe I am old enough to say I have lived enough to have formed an opinion on the world around me, how it may have changed or merely, how I have perceived a change.

In my youth I had an understanding of the UK which I considered historical. That the way things were was how they had been for centuries allowing for natural change, advancement in technology etc. In general the population was majority fair skinned, spoke with one of the many English regional accents and could trace their roots back at least a few generations to some part of the United Kingdom. Yes, I recall some contradiction to that. I was raised in Dagenham just 10 miles east of London, closer to London still was East Ham, Upton Park, West Ham etc as the district line underground travelled west. I remember how the smell changed on that journey and how it was not uncommon for someone smelling of curry to get on that train. If I got off at say, East Ham, I would be confronted by many people with dark complexions, probably from India or Pakistan and that was OK, the majority were still recognisable to me as ‘traditional British’. As the years passed I revisited that area and discovered many of the street names had been replaced by text I simply did not understand. Yes, the English was still there but as prominent alongside was something else, something ‘foreign’. Religion too had changed that area. The historical skyline would be of church spires, the Norman Church, the Saxon church, the great cathedrals, all architectural gems in their own right, but not now. Alongside them and, in all too many cases, dominating the skyline are the temples and mosques. But it isn’t just East London; it’s across this country it is happening. The word ‘multicultural’ seems to be one we must accept. Any challenge to the concept labels us a racist. Alongside the obvious difference of skin colour is the vast difference in accent. It is not uncommon now to recognise several different worldwide accents across the UK which many of us 30 years ago had not heard. Many more Americans live here now or work here, as do those from Australia and New Zealand. In my home town we have many from Vietnam living here as well.

I am all in favour of migration; borders should be fluid to an extent. What is a shame is the loss of identity we have in the UK. We are still perceived around the world as this quaint little country with our traditional villages, thatched cottages, historical landmarks and such like. Our English Tourist Board does not appear to promote us as the place to go to seek out the Muslim way or life, visit the temple, try our wonderful Indian or Chinese cuisine and rightly so because those things are not what being British is about. Yet, the reality of 2009 seems to be precisely that. Religion in particular is pulling this country apart at the seams. We are allowing our own designated faith to follow a natural decline, about which I am more than content, yet, we are making one concession after another to the whims of other faiths. We have Jewish, Catholic & Muslim schools, I am sure many others too. We have people refusing to do the jobs they are employed to do because it insults their faith and getting away with it. We allow people to go around our streets shrouded in cloth so we have no idea who they are, the walking letter boxes as I know them. Laws are made giving concessions to those with a faith to dictate over those who are what they are through birth, not choice. No one through choice of faith should dictate to those who do not share their views.

Then, on a much wider scale we have others telling this country what we must do, what is expected of us and we are treated as inferior, a younger sibling who must obey. Surprisingly, I am not talking about Europe. On the whole I think we’ve gained more than we have lost through our connection with our European neighbours, no, not them. I am referring to the US. Not the individual natives of that country but the entity, the government, the attitude. Yes, an older brother should take care of the younger ones but, the problem is, the US feels it is superior to everyone. There seems little consideration to the possibility they may just not be welcome, not needed, not invited. Merely because a country becomes the most powerful should not allow them the luxury of dictating the natural law of the planet. We do not all want to be carbon copies of the United States of America. Hell, having been there a few times I can most certainly say that the USA can barely manage their own affairs let alone be in a position where they may dictate to the world the moral high ground.

I greatly admire their national pride. Indeed, much of this post is in recognition of that and our lack of it. Were we to have pride in this country we may cause a fuss when we see our identity eroded. No thank you, I don’t want my bank and post office translating everything into Polish for me. I manage when I visit other countries to work out enough to get by using their communication. I was born Church of England, though I hold no religious affiliations now and consider myself ‘agnostic’. But, when in another country I firmly believe it is wrong to expect them to respect and adjust to my own viewpoint. Yes, I was totally pissed off by the Vatican when they were offended by my shorts and they stopped me from entering the place … but, they are Catholics and they think their God is offended by such things as legs and I have to respect it not stand up for my human rights and demand to see the works of Michelangelo. If women visit which ever country it is who think the letterbox look is in vogue then they must expect to wear the letterbox. In short, we all, and that so DOES include the British, should respect the customs and beliefs of other countries and, accordingly, have the right to expect others to respect those of this country so it can remain recognisably British. If Multicultural means losing our identity and no longer making our own decisions then I am totally against it.

Certainly we have an obligation of sorts to seek our persecution around the globe and end it, we don’t have the right to act as missionaries and expect other nations to follow all which we class as the moral high ground. So, preserve traditions which do not persecute, put an end to those which impose a religious viewpoint on others, stop allowing the erosion of this country in the name of multiculturalism and a special relationship and hold onto and get back what makes us what we are.

We can embrace anyone from anywhere, we don’t need to become the state they left behind.

National Identity – What is It?

There is a very real risk that this is going to come across as racist. My apologies in advance for that but I am hopeful that my need for understanding will be accepted which means I do have to question certain issues which trouble me.

At 46 maybe I am old enough to say I have lived enough to have formed an opinion on the world around me, how it may have changed or merely, how I have perceived a change.

In my youth I had an understanding of the UK which I considered historical. That the way things were was how they had been for centuries allowing for natural change, advancement in technology etc. In general the population was majority fair skinned, spoke with one of the many English regional accents and could trace their roots back at least a few generations to some part of the United Kingdom. Yes, I recall some contradiction to that. I was raised in Dagenham just 10 miles east of London, closer to London still was East Ham, Upton Park, West Ham etc as the district line underground travelled west. I remember how the smell changed on that journey and how it was not uncommon for someone smelling of curry to get on that train. If I got off at say, East Ham, I would be confronted by many people with dark complexions, probably from India or Pakistan and that was OK, the majority were still recognisable to me as ‘traditional British’. As the years passed I revisited that area and discovered many of the street names had been replaced by text I simply did not understand. Yes, the English was still there but as prominent alongside was something else, something ‘foreign’. Religion too had changed that area. The historical skyline would be of church spires, the Norman Church, the Saxon church, the great cathedrals, all architectural gems in their own right, but not now. Alongside them and, in all too many cases, dominating the skyline are the temples and mosques. But it isn’t just East London; it’s across this country it is happening. The word ‘multicultural’ seems to be one we must accept. Any challenge to the concept labels us a racist. Alongside the obvious difference of skin colour is the vast difference in accent. It is not uncommon now to recognise several different worldwide accents across the UK which many of us 30 years ago had not heard. Many more Americans live here now or work here, as do those from Australia and New Zealand. In my home town we have many from Vietnam living here as well.

I am all in favour of migration; borders should be fluid to an extent. What is a shame is the loss of identity we have in the UK. We are still perceived around the world as this quaint little country with our traditional villages, thatched cottages, historical landmarks and such like. Our English Tourist Board does not appear to promote us as the place to go to seek out the Muslim way or life, visit the temple, try our wonderful Indian or Chinese cuisine and rightly so because those things are not what being British is about. Yet, the reality of 2009 seems to be precisely that. Religion in particular is pulling this country apart at the seams. We are allowing our own designated faith to follow a natural decline, about which I am more than content, yet, we are making one concession after another to the whims of other faiths. We have Jewish, Catholic & Muslim schools, I am sure many others too. We have people refusing to do the jobs they are employed to do because it insults their faith and getting away with it. We allow people to go around our streets shrouded in cloth so we have no idea who they are, the walking letter boxes as I know them. Laws are made giving concessions to those with a faith to dictate over those who are what they are through birth, not choice. No one through choice of faith should dictate to those who do not share their views.

Then, on a much wider scale we have others telling this country what we must do, what is expected of us and we are treated as inferior, a younger sibling who must obey. Surprisingly, I am not talking about Europe. On the whole I think we’ve gained more than we have lost through our connection with our European neighbours, no, not them. I am referring to the US. Not the individual natives of that country but the entity, the government, the attitude. Yes, an older brother should take care of the younger ones but, the problem is, the US feels it is superior to everyone. There seems little consideration to the possibility they may just not be welcome, not needed, not invited. Merely because a country becomes the most powerful should not allow them the luxury of dictating the natural law of the planet. We do not all want to be carbon copies of the United States of America. Hell, having been there a few times I can most certainly say that the USA can barely manage their own affairs let alone be in a position where they may dictate to the world the moral high ground.

I greatly admire their national pride. Indeed, much of this post is in recognition of that and our lack of it. Were we to have pride in this country we may cause a fuss when we see our identity eroded. No thank you, I don’t want my bank and post office translating everything into Polish for me. I manage when I visit other countries to work out enough to get by using their communication. I was born Church of England, though I hold no religious affiliations now and consider myself ‘agnostic’. But, when in another country I firmly believe it is wrong to expect them to respect and adjust to my own viewpoint. Yes, I was totally pissed off by the Vatican when they were offended by my shorts and they stopped me from entering the place … but, they are Catholics and they think their God is offended by such things as legs and I have to respect it not stand up for my human rights and demand to see the works of Michelangelo. If women visit which ever country it is who think the letterbox look is in vogue then they must expect to wear the letterbox. In short, we all, and that so DOES include the British, should respect the customs and beliefs of other countries and, accordingly, have the right to expect others to respect those of this country so it can remain recognisably British. If Multicultural means losing our identity and no longer making our own decisions then I am totally against it.

Certainly we have an obligation of sorts to seek our persecution around the globe and end it, we don’t have the right to act as missionaries and expect other nations to follow all which we class as the moral high ground. So, preserve traditions which do not persecute, put an end to those which impose a religious viewpoint on others, stop allowing the erosion of this country in the name of multiculturalism and a special relationship and hold onto and get back what makes us what we are.

We can embrace anyone from anywhere, we don’t need to become the state they left behind.

Conflict

This is what is happening between my mouse and keyboard and Deej’s and it’s flippin’ annoying!

If we both use our PC’s at the same time we are typing crap, nothing entered, too much entered and the mice are all over the place .. looks like we need to spend yet more money getting Deej wired.

Speaking of wired … for some weird reason I have had no speakers on my PC for months … I only noticed today, which is weird, but the speakers I use were not connected, didn’t even have a cable so I guess that they have been like that since we rebuilt the office and here I was thinking my hearing had gone crap because everything sounded rubbish!

Still ever waiting for grandchild number 1 to be born though I suspect it won’t be long … the ugly head of family politics is showing again so the sooner this baby is born and we can work out who is going to do what and how well, the better!

It would appear that a certain bitch has been stirring up trouble again, she needs shooting that woman! Why is it that someone can screw up so badly at raising their kids that they have to go into care that they then feel the need to cause problems for those kids all their fookin’ lives?

Social Services … those dealing with kids, they can go fook themselves now, bunch of arsewipes the lot of them!

Farmville is becoming too addictive!

What is the weather like where you are?

There should be the option on here to leave comments by the way.

Conflict

This is what is happening between my mouse and keyboard and Deej’s and it’s flippin’ annoying!

If we both use our PC’s at the same time we are typing crap, nothing entered, too much entered and the mice are all over the place .. looks like we need to spend yet more money getting Deej wired.

Speaking of wired … for some weird reason I have had no speakers on my PC for months … I only noticed today, which is weird, but the speakers I use were not connected, didn’t even have a cable so I guess that they have been like that since we rebuilt the office and here I was thinking my hearing had gone crap because everything sounded rubbish!

Still ever waiting for grandchild number 1 to be born though I suspect it won’t be long … the ugly head of family politics is showing again so the sooner this baby is born and we can work out who is going to do what and how well, the better!

It would appear that a certain bitch has been stirring up trouble again, she needs shooting that woman! Why is it that someone can screw up so badly at raising their kids that they have to go into care that they then feel the need to cause problems for those kids all their fookin’ lives?

Social Services … those dealing with kids, they can go fook themselves now, bunch of arsewipes the lot of them!

Farmville is becoming too addictive!

What is the weather like where you are?

There should be the option on here to leave comments by the way.

The end of week

I am hoping that by September 11th things will be a lot more settled.

We need to keep moving forward and not be stalled or, worse, heading backwards.

This is a very complex family, holding it together is a challenge so, a little more help would be greatly appreciate … they need me over at The United Nations and I have to keep fobbing them off so should everyone feel like actually sitting around the table it would be greatly appreciated!

At the very least, please, no more surprises. Let us just work on building what we have with the building blocks we have rather than complicating matters all the more.

What could be really useful would be to get rid of the dead wood, the stupid idiots who either just want to stir shit or, worse, do so in an official capacity. We don’t need any self styled Jeremy Kyle types, we, as a family, can work this out together so that everyone is happy. I am being honest here, I don’t think I have the energy for one more pointless onslaught from social services giving crap advice which only serves to put us back months and create tension … could they kindly go fuck the hell off!

The end of week

I am hoping that by September 11th things will be a lot more settled.

We need to keep moving forward and not be stalled or, worse, heading backwards.

This is a very complex family, holding it together is a challenge so, a little more help would be greatly appreciate … they need me over at The United Nations and I have to keep fobbing them off so should everyone feel like actually sitting around the table it would be greatly appreciated!

At the very least, please, no more surprises. Let us just work on building what we have with the building blocks we have rather than complicating matters all the more.

What could be really useful would be to get rid of the dead wood, the stupid idiots who either just want to stir shit or, worse, do so in an official capacity. We don’t need any self styled Jeremy Kyle types, we, as a family, can work this out together so that everyone is happy. I am being honest here, I don’t think I have the energy for one more pointless onslaught from social services giving crap advice which only serves to put us back months and create tension … could they kindly go fuck the hell off!

Time on a Bender

It seemed not five minutes since 2009 had just started and we had a whole year to look forward to and … what a year!

Time seems, in many respects, to be flying by so fast it is all I can do to hold on to the tail feathers and not get left behind and then, at other times, events take so long to complete.

Right now I probably have more of my life ‘on the go’ than I ever have. It seems there is a near endless list of events not yet quite happening. Yes, there is definite promise of them bursting into existence at any time but, and it is a big BUT, some of these things have taken months in the making and I have no idea just when they are cooked.

Is the light in this tunnel at the end or, is it an oncoming train? This is where the speed versus lag comes into play … time goes so rapid that the direction seems to be decided before thought has woken up and taken hold of the rope. The drawback there is, I am constantly having to rewrite the map to work out how to get to the objective …. there’s a buzzword of the moment ‘objective’. It’s all about objectives, what is the end game and sod how we get there! There is an argument for that, does it matter as long as the outcome is the same? Probably not. Except, yes it does. It matters because this is about emotion, real people, hopes and dreams. It maybe is not enough to simply arrive, it matters how we get there.

My apologies, once again, for I am not making much sense to anyone except those intimately aware of the domestic situation here. It must remain that way as some issues are so sensitive they are not for publication.

I was asked the other day, does this compare to that day, 4 years ago, we know as ‘Black Friday’? My answer was easy because, coincidentally, I had been thinking of it just hours earlier … yes, this is much like that day and, in many ways, far worse. On the plus side for that moment I could go to bed and others could cope. Not so right now, if I remove myself from the current ongoing story, it may well collapse and head off in a direction I cannot pull it back from. It’s like being on a cattle drive and deciding to let the cows decide the route for the day. It would be a very relaxing day but then there would be a near hopeless task of rounding up the herd again.

Not that I consider anyone I am involved with as cattle, far from it, it was an analogy to assist in the understanding of why I simple cannot rest day or night.

Time on a Bender

It seemed not five minutes since 2009 had just started and we had a whole year to look forward to and … what a year!

Time seems, in many respects, to be flying by so fast it is all I can do to hold on to the tail feathers and not get left behind and then, at other times, events take so long to complete.

Right now I probably have more of my life ‘on the go’ than I ever have. It seems there is a near endless list of events not yet quite happening. Yes, there is definite promise of them bursting into existence at any time but, and it is a big BUT, some of these things have taken months in the making and I have no idea just when they are cooked.

Is the light in this tunnel at the end or, is it an oncoming train? This is where the speed versus lag comes into play … time goes so rapid that the direction seems to be decided before thought has woken up and taken hold of the rope. The drawback there is, I am constantly having to rewrite the map to work out how to get to the objective …. there’s a buzzword of the moment ‘objective’. It’s all about objectives, what is the end game and sod how we get there! There is an argument for that, does it matter as long as the outcome is the same? Probably not. Except, yes it does. It matters because this is about emotion, real people, hopes and dreams. It maybe is not enough to simply arrive, it matters how we get there.

My apologies, once again, for I am not making much sense to anyone except those intimately aware of the domestic situation here. It must remain that way as some issues are so sensitive they are not for publication.

I was asked the other day, does this compare to that day, 4 years ago, we know as ‘Black Friday’? My answer was easy because, coincidentally, I had been thinking of it just hours earlier … yes, this is much like that day and, in many ways, far worse. On the plus side for that moment I could go to bed and others could cope. Not so right now, if I remove myself from the current ongoing story, it may well collapse and head off in a direction I cannot pull it back from. It’s like being on a cattle drive and deciding to let the cows decide the route for the day. It would be a very relaxing day but then there would be a near hopeless task of rounding up the herd again.

Not that I consider anyone I am involved with as cattle, far from it, it was an analogy to assist in the understanding of why I simple cannot rest day or night.