Santipolo

Do you ever find that without you doing much you have been placed in a pigeon hole? Judgements are made and those opinions stick with you. You are effectively the short, fat, old, ginger, gay, black … guy Well, when I identified as ‘gay’ (because I am so, not a choice then) I was OK to find my pigeon hole was with gay men, lesbians and bisexual men and women. It worked, we all were attracted to someone of the same gender (at least sometimes in the case of bisexuals). True, I rapidly discovered it wasn’t that simple. You see, I was not a stereotypical gay man. No, a stereotypical gay man was gay first and foremost. Everyone had to know they were out and proud, they were not monogamous, they were often rude and opinionated and, well, I wasn’t. I also discovered that actually, quite a lot of lesbians really don’t like men at all be they gay or heterosexual and, as for the bisexuals, well, no one ever quite knew where they were with them. But, basically, ...

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It is absolutely impossible for me to rest, never! I honestly feel that I am involved with Zoey’s care 24/7, like, anyone can contact me at any time with an absolute screw up of their own making and I will deal with it. Social Care have made so many screw ups it’s just awkward now. Despite the mess they’ve created it’s still the same people making the mistakes who are running the shit show. One crap care provider after another, each competing with each other to see which can come up with the biggest bullshit to explain why they’re not managing her. No one, not a one of them, ever has a clue what might be going wrong, it’s sickening. It’s like they are just not there. Sure, they know about the damage Zoey causes in great detail but, not what is actually upsetting her. You know, Zoey was previously abused by her carers, years ago now. Sadly, any carer who looks like them seems to be a trigger and yet, because looking like them refers to their colo...

I would argue that absolutely this is the case! Mothers who genuinely believe only they are uniquely capable of raising children Women who have been surrounded by women dealing with women their entire career who just do not really understand why a man is trying to raise children Women who feel men are heroes for doing what every parent should do regardless of gender Organisations which are mainly female dominated such as education, health, social care and so on who instinctiverly look for the Mrs to write to or telephone and then, when they cannot find her, wonder if the ‘father’ perhaps needs some parenting support because, it won’t come naturally to him. Yes, those above groups are the main offenders but, let’s not forget the: Men who feel the place of a woman is in the home, doing the cooking, cleaning and raising the kids, after all, Mums’ gone to Iceland. Mothercare because, only mothers need to buy nappies Mother and toddler groups, yes, they still ex...

I have not seen beyond episode 4, I nearly didn’t watch that episode to the end, it was very difficult for me. So many memories of my own experience. Spoiler Alert From this point in, some or a lot of what I am going to say might spoil the series for you up to this point but I am only saying it for some context. What did happen to me? A little history of me I have always suspected strongly I was gay. My main issue was, I had actually no idea what that meant. What I knew for sure was that I felt uncomfortable around other men. I thought there was something, some point about being a man I totally didn’t get. They all seemed so confident, they didn’t seem to care what others guys thought, they acted like I was weird if I complimented them. Doing so felt natural for me, I thought it was just that, ‘natural’ to compiment someone. In my teens years I come to understand, just a little more, what fancying men was all about. It is fair to say I was heavily conflicte...